Monday, December 12, 2011

decisions decisions

Salaam.

this one is short and not so sweet unfortunately, despite my high sugar intake that is i still cannot make this entry a 'lickerishly' sweet one. LOL.

Still pressing on the race of finishing the unfinished.

I reckon am so under stress and pressure that i got ridiculous acne breakouts almost every part on my face now - even the delicate part of my eyelids! I don't have to be a rocket scientist to know this as you know it's not that month of the months when acne breakouts are anticipated.

Yes, stress it must be.

Way off schedule. In fact make that way derailed off schedule. So derailed, that I can't even make a good sentence and look up in my dual dictionary even such primary school words like 'underestimate'. Bah!

Exhaustion... cannot even begin with that part.

OH last Sunday, my neighbour held her son's wedding- i was really anxious of making an appearance, simply because i am just so fatso now, and the eye bags and acnes oh so unappealing to anyone's sight to behold mine included. Yet, hub pushed me to go, and i know i just must go for the food of course because i was so immersed in work (and sleep deprived) that i just don't have the interest to cook (unless really really need for the sake of my daughter) so we usually have take-outs, and last sunday, 'lunch' was served practically in front of the house. Under the tents of course. LOL.

I was so anxious and worried, i tried couple of my baju kurungs as if getting ready for a date,. Even then, i was never that anxious. But this time, to my horrid discovery, i can no longer fit into one of my fav baju kurung!

Gosh, i must have gained so much saturated fats. Reckon the sleep deprived part is also one of the contributing factor to weight gain.

LAstly, i resorted to wearing casual black skirt matched with the only decent-kenduri approved attire and still fit into- black tops..with decent amount of diamante to dazzle people on a hot sunny Sunday. LOL! No surprise, to the very laid-back community that still surprisingly practice gotong-royong for this kenduri kawin, they were giving me a smirk or reluctant smile or wondering smile maybe because of my seemingly out of place and colored attire. Black for a wedding! HAHA, i was mourning alright, mourning for my own "death" on thesis writing. Death of that derailed thoughts...that is taking longer than expected to be fixed.

Anyways, decisions decisions. Content analysis? Suicidal! Indepth interview? Double suicidal! Mere qualitative secondary data reviewing? Do-able but too easy for me (gosh, nak berangan lagi tu ...da takde masa pun still nak reach for the stars)

yes i'd still reach for the stars. and hope i get extension to buy me some time to reach for that one star of finishing this incredibly burdensome writing. Mama help me.

Progress: 15,000 words. Half to go. HALF!

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