Sunday, May 19, 2013

Road to it?


Remember that word. Understand its meaning. For it is the catchphrase of postGE13. I don't want to say much, but would like to insert some pages of the "13th May - Tragedy Offical Report" by National Operations Council published on 9th October 1969. Click here to download (I've highlighted essential points, read especially from chapter 8 onwards).

After more than 50 years, this nation has never been so divided. 

Digressing a bit: prior to 2010 - I was apolitical. Yes, as written in this blog, I admitted that I fancied the politics, I am keeping tabs with the latest development. In 1998, I was one of 2-3 (the minority am sure) of 15 or so members of my class in high school that did not sympathise with Anwar Ibrahim's sacking. I was still very sure Dr. M did what he thought was best. Of course my minority views was looked down by my friends. I remember vividly, some of my friends were gathering in one corner of our class - talking about the political situations then - mostly demonising Dr. M. 

I remember saying to them lot that I don't believe Dr. M was a bad person yet am not saying Anwar was bad either. I said, this is politics. You can never trust the players. However, I do remember that grandfatherly image of Dr. M walking by himself, alone, on the pavement just outside of One Utama shopping complex and I walked across him. I was starstruck to see him there, and he just smiled at me and continued walking. This was before the sacking. 

Secondary mates from Form Four - friends until today: Fellow SMPSA 

I also remember well back then, my class teacher, reminded us to study hard and work hard for our future for our future (Malaysia) she reckons will be like Singapore. Sooner or later this precious land of the Malays will no longer be in our hands. She reminded us those privileges enshrined in the Constitution can be taken away in due time with concerted efforts from those who wished to do so. This was right after the sacking. 

Of course being just 16 years of age, I don't quite follow all these talks about Malay nationalism or patriotism. I was not the ultra Malays (those who supported Anwar was thought of being the 'ultra' Malays). I do remember some good non-Malay friends I used to have, my table mates in SRKKT - clara loh, or Fiona leong, or Elsie Ooi (and still keep the lovely sunflowers crafted from paper she gave me till this day), or how bad ass Nicholas Soo was those times yet I still like talking with him, or even one guy who was sitting in front of me, Chong Chee Jen (and boy how I used to have crush over him...he's that nerdy, smarty pants Chinese boy). I remember I and bunch of SRKKT mates walked to a crematorium in PJ close to the school to pay the last respect for our dear friend, Nicky Woo Liu Jin. I remember I cried seeing his blued-puffed up face (he died pneumonia believing to suffered that from the active swimming he done, he was the school swimmer). I remember how I used to be good friends with them that they taught me some Chinese and how I would love to watch chinese drama on tv (you know the evening shows every weekdays after school). 

Primary school mates : 3 Melati at SRKKT 

BUT that was all in primary school. High school came. Went to the very famous now, clustered girl school - SMP Sri Aman. Somehow I don't quite recall having Chinese friends that I was close with. Of course there were nonMalays but never got to mingled with them much, except some few faces. Then, in Form 3 - I got in one of the four 'A' class - where most of the school brainy bunch were. BUT my table mates was Azah Najwa before she left for Germany. The one sitting in front was brainy Jasmina Mokthar. Of course one of my classmate in Form 3 now the famous Selangor strategist - Tricia Yeoh. Then I remember the very nice girl, Chiu Chin.

Secondary school mates : 3 Cekap SMP Sri Aman
Soon after SPM, came adulthood. I went to UIA. although not race centric, but it's Muslim centric. There are a few international students, but majority are still Malays/Muslims. I took Bachelor of English (Minor Humanities). Was still apolitical and oblivious of my surroundings. At this point of my life,was 'fighting with self - I learnt to wear the hijab as requirements of the University. I remember I was rebellious. First time had to stay in campus, I would always defy that and come crawling back home even if I had to pay fines. Circa 2000 in UIA, my good mates was Lyza Razak, Nordiana Azlinda and some other Bachelor of Arab Studies mates. I was having "enlightenment" conflicts - on one hand, want to resist all this "islamization" on me - the wearing of hijabs, learning Arabic and being that "hip" English student. but on the other hand, I find studying in UIA made my parents proud. Hence, was struggling to be a modern Muslimah yet very "international" by the virtue of being "proficient in English" and a product of an international uni. Of course, my days at UIA did not last. I chose UiTM. 

Diploma mates: Mass Comm UiTM
Now, end of circa 2000, I began my journey in UiTM. I took on mass communications studies. Again, so-called "hip" course. BUT I was still oblivious with my surroundings and apolitical. To me, being in UiTM was that "liberation" I seek - no more conforming to be pious and be in the dorm early every Thursday night to recite Surah Al-Mulk. No need to endure the prejudices of some "Muslim extremists" in UIA that "hunt" girls who do not appear to be "islamic" enough ie. not covering enough etc. It also means that I am studying a course that is close to my heart - as my dad was a RTM veteran, growing up always following him to his   lecture session/outstation work, so I know pretty much what I was getting myself into (read: broadcasting realm). And partly of course because I was coaxed by then the boyfriend. Some of my bestest mates were: Hanis Harun, Fidzah Safri, Idir Nahwari, Fiqrie Dahlan, Haza Hamdan, Rais Ramzidi, Lizawati Yaakob, Ija Azahari (just to name a few).

bachelor degree group mates (prior Japan): broadcasting, UiTM
Then, came 2003. I broke off with that schmuck. Obviously entangled with drowsy, manipulating, monkey love - I did not study hard enough. BUT, I did not do so bad either. So like everyone else who studied diploma course in UiTM, one is expected to further to a bachelor degree. Was torn in between choosing Journalism or Broacasting and finally I chose the latter. Was still apolitical but was gradually maturing. I know then life has more to offer (lesson learnt after the split with that schmuck).I put myself together, I tried studying (although first sem was still hard, still bearing the "scars" and trying to move on). Second semester came, I had my first break - was selected to go to Japan. At this point of life, I already befriending a new guy (now hubby). Of course never did like him much because he was not that perfect, ideal guy I envisioned but he was a friend to me. He helped with (financially) my dreams of Japan and was very supportive too. And I was off to Tokyo on 31 August 2004. My best mates during bachelor was Haza Hamdan, Albar, Safuan, Hani. of course still retain close friendships with friends during dip years - Hanis and Fidza.

international mates: BGU Tokyo
Japan, was the best times of my life. First time away from family, friends. First time away from homeland. First time living as 'foreigner'. This time, was still apolitical but I was very much patriotic. And I wear Malaysia proudly on my sleeves. I make friends, I exchange my Malay cultures - I taught my new both Minnesotians, Japanese and Indonesian friends Malay words and folks songs. I remember in one of my "elective" course - Japanese politics/ International Politics - I went to see my sensei - Okamoto Ito (phD) and he related to me that he admires Malaysia's leader - Dr. M. (at this time, the PM was PakLah). I asked him "what about my recent PM?" My sensei face went clueless. "Ah, gomen nasai." (that means I am sorry in Japanese). I was proud that he speaks highly of Dr. M. I remember during both Eid, I went to the Malaysian Embassy - excitement was in the air, food was abundance - of course mostly malay/muslim students were there, but there were others too. I remember there were no Malays/Chinese/Indian - all was Malaysian and talks in BM and Japanese (not English). The fact is everyone was carrying that Malaysian spirit high if not missing home as much. Of course, essentially I make some good malay/Malaysian friends there: namely Paklan (zulhairi), Erin Adnan, Janna, Sofea. And we would hang out together/ shop together. There were also some Indonesian friends (one of which was a brainy phD student of engineering in Tokyo Uni) - who turned out to be my "consistent" Halal chicken supplier.Then, there was the "fling fling" I had with oh so kacak dan gantang (tak boleh tulis english kut kut dia baca mana tau, nanti dia perasan haha) kawan mat salleh Muslim dari negara Uncle Sam yang rapat dengan saya (sampai balik sini dia pernah "visit" saya dua kali dan ajak kahwin..ha ha being: while in Japan, I found the patriotism in me - I had mini Jalur Gemilang on my table (given by my mates when they send me off at the airport as it was the eve of Merdeka), and I come to appreciates Malay food/ my hometown Kelana Jaya or maybe i was just homesick. Either way, I was simply known as "Mareshia-jin" (malaysian in Japanese) yet I was a 'gaijin' (an alien). 

Bachelor degree mates (second batch, after returning from Japan)

Came back in March 2005 but to bad news and challenges at UiTM. Much to my dismayed I had to repeat a semester. prior to Tokyo, was assured that I did not have to (because of the "transition" of studies I can "transfer credits"). BUT that wasn't the case when I got back home. Devastated I was in the dark. The thoughts of going through a whole semester again akin to being "demoted" and joining my "juniors" whom I knew none - was scary. Also there was that part where my transportation to class was being compromised. Prior to Japan, I had the privilege to car-pool with my classmates either Safuan or Fariza (an ancient friend from primary & secondary days). Then suddenly I find myself struggling to go to class. Dad could not send me as he had to go back to work (after retiring) due to unforeseen circumstances. And so, that old 'boifen tinggal' I - now husband, came to the rescue. Always there, loyal for me, waiting. He did the most sweetest and surprising thing for me. He gave up his only car for my convenience and bought himself a scooter instead. 

Of course fresh from Tokyo with a prospect of a mat salleh wooing me instead of Kulim born guy, I was not convince to take up his gestures. Ha ha. mak ngada2 lah sapa taknak mat salleh kan. BUT at the same time I have no options. So I just took his offer knowing well that he wanted more - wants to get serious with me. It was not until an incident happened and largely persuasion from my sisters that kept pestering me to get serious with him because of his sincerity - I remember Along said "Dik, mana ada lelaki sanggup susah-payah gitu, dia berhujan berpanas pergi kerja untuk kasik kau pakai kereta" and I remember I would retaliate "but dia tak hensem aar...dia tak kelakar...dia tak itu ini etc." Soon I gave in to the idea, and give this guy a chance. Cut long story short, at end of 2005 with the blessings and excitement of my family pushing my now husband to make the move - we got engaged. Ha ha. I remember my 2nd sister - Kak Teh was super excited. She woke me up on the day I had my final exams to tell me that she have thought of the color theme - purple! I remember I did not do much, everything was done by my sis and mom. And I went to choose my ring. The ring was really nice though and quite expensive.

work mates: TV9 news
Then after degree, I got to work with TV9. My first serious job. I was lucky though that I secured that job even before I finish my final exams! I started work right after my final paper was over. Did not have any rest. 1 December 2006 - 30 June 2010. The best times too in my life. Many things happen no doubt. Many challenges. On a personal level, my engagement then was "rocky" soon after I started work. Ha ha. BUT after 3 years, I finally tied the knot on 7 March 2008. Yeap, just one day before polling day. This time, with maturity, and experiences working as journo - the exposure one gets to current issues - I found my nationalism and patriotism increased. BUT I wasn't such Ultra Malay or UMNO die hard fans. In fact I remember debating with my boss back then on the first political assignment I did - the Ijok by-election 2010 whereby TS Khalid Ibrahim (PKR) vs K. Parthiban (MIC), I had to do a stand-upper. I remember vividly with my yellowy t-shirt I said my lines something along the following:

"Thus it is up to the voters here at Ijok to choose their future - either BN or PKR, the choice is yours of whom you should vote to bring development and deliver their promises and choose wisely"

Although this clip was not live, but my boss did not actually see the videos (although I wrote in the script thus they should have known and opposed when they could), it went on-air. And I remember my bosses then were slapping their foreheads and my deputy in chief (then) came to have a talk with me. I stood on my convictions that I did not say anything bad. I debated that what I said was "neutral" and "fair" the way a journalist should be (or shouldn't they?). Anyway, my boss then talked about the concept of media ownership etc. and asked me to not repeat such lines again. 

Anyway, wow what a digression from the first paragraph. Point being? Point am trying to convey is this: look at the pattern of my life. from primary, was so integrated with other races that I did not think of others of being "other races" you know. to me they were all my friends and I liked them all. Then came high school, my integration with the "others" slightly decreases - even more so throughout 2 final years of my high school life - in Form 4 & 5 - only one nonMalay in my class - Kiranjit. There rest were Malays. My integration decreases further yet I still did not think of "others" being "others". 

Then came UiTM. dip years was monkey years basically. No "others" of others - just me and boifee that time. yes in dreamy land. So dip years does not count. 

Then deg years - revelations. maturity. a bit...starting to feel the "Malayness". BUT still apolitcal.

Then Tokyo times - feeling international, finding patriotism. Starting to appreciate Malaysia. 

Then working life in a Malay newsroom. 100% malay. with 100% supporting govt. beginning to not be apolitical BUT am still not understanding the need to "support" Malay.

Then...oh boy then came postgrad studies. In all honesty, I find my "malay" revelations during these past 3 years of MA studies. I had to do a lot of malaysian political readings and Malaysian historical backgrounds. I learn about the constitution, i read about 13 May - from all angles possibly mind you. And I become nationalistic! My revelations shaped my political opinions - the historical readings of pre-merdeka and early merdeka shaped my opinions and not current blogs/ online media. If anything the blogs and online media today just helps to reaffirms the fact that what written and predicted in the books - of Malay losing the political power one day. I am not saying that all chinese are bad, again as written before and would reiterate again - only the DAP is bad and will always be. And those Chinese who voted for DAP without being a formal member of the party - are not at faults in entirety. They voted what they believed in and they voted DAP because of the blatant lies DAP has been spewing, indoctrinating them all these years about the other parties, especially the ruling coalition - that Malays are bad, UMNO is shit. I agree that GE13 was a Chinese Tsunami but I also subscribed to the idea that it was equally an urban Tsunami. and this is what I fret about - the "urban" class - the ones exposed to "truths", online media - voted for DAP be it Malays or naturally Chinese.  "truths" these days are only "perceptions" made easily available to many disseminated by reckless, irresponsible hate-mongers online.

And why do Malays would want to vote DAP? and this is what making my heart sinks. Even my brother is accepting DAP - accepting the lies that Kit Siang is the good guy and Dr. M the evil one. As I said before, if Malays want to vote PAS it's fine but to vote PAS because of advancing ISLAMIC values within the PR coalition? like seriously?  refer to last post I don't know. However, I do know that while UMNO is not perfect, UMNO is the choice for now - simply because the alternatives are not convincing enough. And UMNO should, MUST reform. but then again, seeing the new cabinet line-up, there isn't much excitement there to begin with. Same ol faces are there, some credible (KJ although i don't think he should be the Youth Minister), but many are rather a disappointment. that hindraf leader for example. and why no Wanita UMNO representation in the cabinet?? come on lah PM, the women are the backbone of UMNO, look who's fighting your battle during campaign trails? it's not PEMUDA, it's the Wanita. the kaum Ibu2. tackle the women, tackle them wisely. It's time to give back for all those long years of loyalty. 

Am not too sure about the reconciliation though. Too much animosity. And don't arrest Anwar although he very much wants that attention. don't give him that, let him rant, let him scream. sooner or later he'll tire out just as the crowd of most rational PR supporters in general are beginning to feel and he knows this. that's why he's instigating to anwarinas for a possible arrest. Anwar, you only lived once of that powerful support in 1998. it ain't gonna happen again, and the thing of asking the US to come intervene? That wasn't slick dude. that wasn't sexy. that was a big whoop.

Alas, I don't know. PostGE13 is more confusing than before. Thought making a decision of whom to vote is hard, but this...continuing to live while the politicians remain adamant in their bickering, playing my words against yours game...I don't know. It's tiring. perhaps it is time to let article 153 go? perhaps it is time to let UMNO/MCA/MIC open to all races? perhaps it is time to really take that 1 malaysia slogan to the heart? Perhaps it is time to have that 10% nonMalay in UiTM? (although there are nonMalays (Sabah & Sarawakians particularly so I dont see the fuss). Let's all wait and see. 

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Your past never defines your future, so they say


Thinks after almost over two weeks now, it's time to move on with our lives and push aside all things politics, at least for now. Shelves it up, till about year 2017-2018...we can recollect the memories of the GE13.

Yesterday (Thursday 16 May) was Teacher's Day. Of course after high school, I've never "celebrate" the day, never wish any teachers, never give away gifts. The last time I remember doing those things was in Form 4 - of course in school, I think Teacher's Day are "enforce" to us - mandatory celebrations. Like the teachers have to actually remind the pupils that there is a DAY for them to be appreciated, to give presents, souvenirs - evidence for all their handwork in educating us. Like anything "enforce" without real understanding as to why we are supposed to do a particular thing, in this context, the celebrations of Teacher's Day - the conduct of celebrating was nothing more than that - celebration. It was an "off-day" at school, with lotsa activities. It is always a fun day.

In today's world, with the connectivity at your fingertips - everyone is showing appreciation for their teachers for the world to see on Facebook or Twitter, just to name a few. Declaring self for your circle of friends to see, how sensitive and grateful you are to your teachers. Some I see posting the names of their teachers - if there's anything, I am amazed they can still remember their names. BUT I personally think, all these 'bearing your soul' on the net, tagging names of those people you rarely 'chat with' or even funnier, tagging names of those people that does not even have any social media account - all too 'glossy' and fabricated for me. BUT then again, each to its own. Perhaps, there are people who is really sincere about the feelings and just expressive.

I - of course am grateful to my teachers too. till date, there are few, significant faces and names of my teachers/lect that can conjure up the feelings of gratefulness and happiness of being in school/uni. BUT I was never a teacher's pet, lecturer's pet etc. And don't think I was ever popular at school/ uni. And I have never kept a personal relationship with my teachers - never the kind that would knock on the teacher's door after class/ lectures, never really stopped and chatted with them outside of campus - if I ever bumped into them, it would only be that awkward silence or just a simple, out of respect smile and a slight nod of acknowledgement. That was it. Not too sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

Now in grad studies - with thesis supervision, I am still keeping that distance, though I know I  shouldn't have. I don't know how to 'appear' enthusiastic about studies by showing up often on their doors, or 'spamming' their emails with 'burning' questions sans 'real' substance except that - but I applaud those who do. I know some of my friends keep that style of relationship with their teachers/lect and inevitably able to keep good grades, partly because of that. After all, teachers/lect are only humans. Sometimes we need to coax them a lil bit, show some appreciation that they're superior and the master of know-it-all. That they are in charge.

Anyway, point am getting into is this. After almost 3 years (yes that is long), insyaAllah am submitting my final work. As expected, with the recently concluded GE13, I still have to amend some parts of the work - by adding the aftermath scenario of GE13 into the work. I knew that. I knew that was coming and expected of me. BUT what is a bit nerve-wrecking, quite a few lect I know of at my fac when I bumped into them are excited about my work - as they all think it's very 'in-trend' now and 'hotly debated'. Which sums the whole point of that nervousness - high expectation during my candidature defense I reckon. Seriously, I am worried of yet becoming a disappointment, again - not to everyone else but to me.

I honestly don't know what will become of my fate after submission. If I ever get there as planned, I will be forever thankful. Not because where it ends, but the fact it ends. Sure I want and hope the end is the sweetest ends. But at this juncture, I no longer put up high hopes. Just letting it be. With all said and done, if there's anything I can put my blame on is me - I am my own destruction, my sin for this delay is the fact I was not being selfish enough. NOT BRAVE enough to be SELFISH enough. Since year one of my studies, when every hiccups encountered, I gave in. I gave in to my surroundings, to my life, to people matters most around me. I never thought of myself. I only thought of pleasing others, of being there for them because all those year I was working as a journo, I never did enough.

Then 2nd year came - more hiccups and tribulations. I was without my domestic help. Mostly worried about the care of my only 1 1/2 year child. It was devastating. Then more waves of trouble.  The child was unwell. Amidst all this, there was that sad and wrenching predicament of my parents - with Dad diagnosed with cancer, and that issue with the No.29. *sigh* My 2nd layer of support system - the parents - was also fighting to 'stay afloat' with themselves. I couldn't possibly trouble them more with my problems. Thus, I had to 'fight' alone while at the same time appear strong for the parents and assisting them with anything I could. And I did. I put my 'burden' on the backbench and carried theirs. Although I could never lifted all of them, I did my small part as that of a child. At this point, trouble for me - escalates. Academia was halted. With my then, SV who was unwell and took that as my own reason to 'escape' from reality and play that 'obedient' and 'supportive' child to my parents.

Finally, 3rd year knocks on me - more suffocating than ever. Third year, in terms of that comfortable monthly stipends, was gone. I was suicidal. I am so ready to give it all up and move on. Hence, I again find a sort of "escapism" from reality. I went to work. Working at that NGO was one of the mistakes I did. It was akin to adding salt to my already infected, squirming with worms wound. I begin to lose my grip.

Alas, this is MAY 2013. It's my MAYday. I should be finding that exit doors and distress button. Honestly, I picked up my pieces starting last February. After that horrendous episodes with that NGO - I only managed to bring myself together in Feb. Then came March. Little child was sick again. Had to take 'one month off' - I wanted so bad to be selfish at this point. BUT how could I? Then came April. Parliament was dissolved. Knew my time is up. Knew all that efforts are in jeopardy. Knew I got to have more amendments to that already dreary work. And now is MAYday.

Candidature defense on 14 June.
Submission, around end June / mid July.
Results? August. and so my time bomb will finally explode then, along with me most possibly. Nonetheless, am keeping my faith. Leaving it all up to Allah. Hopefully, all those time I was not being selfish and doing good deeds to others - will be paid. Just this once.

Jul 2010 -Jul 2011
Jul 2011 - Jul 2012
Jul 2012 - Jul 2013

The bloody July. Never had liked July anyways. LOL.

PS: despite everything, I am thankful for my SV. the first and the current, especially. The first for 'choosing' me amongst others and decided to "ditched" me when I needed SV most, and without the courtesy of informing. The current, for 'choosing' me when no one did, when I sat depressed on a chair in that small fac's office with eyes red, crying; my current SV chose to cared, chose to asked about my predicament then, chose to listened to this sordid student whom he never taught in class, and subsequently chose to replaced that void the last SV did to me..all that  out of love for teaching I guess. And because of that, after almost 14 years leaving high school, after 14 years not recording any appreciation to any teachers, I wished this SV yesterday a Happy Teacher's Day. And gave him a box of cupcakes, with flavours I loved most. That's just my little token of appreciation for you sir. Hope you enjoyed them (I know you would never read this blog anyway, but just in case you did you know now).

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Beribu ribu tahniah

OK. I admit, I never knew about this song that went viral including several versions of parodies prior to GE13. Lyrics very...simple. 

"Beribu-ribu tahniah...beribu-ribu tahniah...beribu-ribu tahniah...MIC/ Barisan Nasional berjaya....(repeat umpteenth times)" 

lagu ini ditujukan buat semua politician yang menang ye. LOL!

Viewers discretion advised

PS: escapism mode, again. yeap.

Sunday, May 12, 2013


A repost from Raja Petra's Blog.
The word ‘racism’ is currently being very freely used to describe what happened last Sunday. DAP accuses Umno of being racist while Umno accuses DAP of the same thing. The problem is some of these people do not understand what the word ‘racism’ means.
In fact, many Chinese readers have accused me of being a racist mainly because they do not understand what the word means. Maybe this is because there is no equivalent word in Chinese -- as there is none in Bahasa Malaysia as well. What is the Bahasa Malaysia word for racist anyway (other than ‘rasis’)?
(Utusan Malaysia, 12 May 2013) -- UMNO bukan parti rasis – PM: Perdana Menteri, Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak menegaskan, UMNO bukan parti rasis kerana ia sentiasa memberi keadilan kepada rakyat tanpa mengira kaum di negara ini.
Many people are confused about the meaning of racism (the belief that race accounts for differences in human character or ability and that a particular race is superior to others -- or discrimination/prejudice based on race), parochialism (narrowly restricted in scope or outlook such as provincial) and nationalism (devotion to the interests or culture of one's nation).
For example, during World War II, the Americans thought that Japanese pilots would never be able to beat American pilots because of the way the Japanese are ‘built’. Due to their short body and slit eyes, they make poor pilots. Or so the Americans thought until the Japanese whacked them good and proper.
This would be racism. The Americans considered the Japanese inferior to the ‘whites’ because the Japanese were not built like the ‘whites’.
For a long time, the European Christians (plus the Vatican) considered the natives of the Americas, in particular those of Latin America, as not human -- a sort of animal on two legs that could talk. Hence it was not wrong to kill the Native Americans (or what they used to call the American Indians) because these people, just like animals, do not have a soul.
You only need to look into the eyes of the American Indian to know that they do not have a soul, said the Pope in Rome. And this, too, was why it was considered okay to capture and sell the black Africans as slaves and kill them like pigs if they resisted or tried to escape. It is because they are not white so that would mean they are not really human beings.
Now, what happens if Kelantanese want a ‘local’ political party to rule their state (such as PAS, as opposed to Umno, which is a ‘Kuala Lumpur’ party)? This would not be called racism. That is parochialism. It is not that the PAS candidate is Malay while the Umno candidate is Chinese. Both are Malay. But one Malay is from a ‘Kelantan’ political party while the other Malay is from an ‘outsider’ political party.
In Terengganu, if a person from Besut contests in, say, Kemaman, this Besut candidate would most likely lose. The voters may be Umno members but if the Umno candidate is from Besut while the PAS candidate is a local Kemaman chap, then there is a strong possibility that the Kemaman voters will vote PAS rather than Umno even if these voters are Umno members. Hence it is not party loyalty but the spirit of daerah (district/province) that prevails. ‘Anak Kemaman’ (a child of Kemaman) is more important to the Kemaman voters than keahlian Umno(Umno membership).
A Chinese born in Melaka can contest in Penang or a Chinese born in Penang can contest in Johor and would most likely win because the Chinese support the party. This may not work on the Malay voters. Only in rare cases can a Malay candidate cross state boundaries (or even district boundaries) and still win. The Malay candidate who crosses boundaries must be an extremely ‘strong’ personality to win in another kawasan (area). 
But don’t think that the Chinese are not sometimes parochial as well. I have known DAP to get a ‘headache’ because the Hakka voters insisted that the DAP candidate must be Hakka. If not then they will vote MCA (who fielded a Hakka candidate) instead of DAP. Is this racism? How can it be racism when both candidates are Chinese? The only thing is he or she must be Hakka Chinese and not a non-Hakka Chinese.
As I said, there are ‘exceptions to the rule’, even amongst the more parochial Malays. For example, Onn Jaafar from Johor won in Kuala Terengganu and Mat Sabu from Penang won in Kelantan. Then we have Saifuddin Nasution Ismail, the PKR Sec-Gen, who was born in Singapore and yet won in both Kedah and Kelantan on a PKR and not PAS ticket (but lost this time around in Kedah against a ‘local boy’).
Finally, there is nationalism. Japanese will only buy Japanese products even when they travel to Singapore or Kuala Lumpur to shop. The Japanese are not racist for buying Japanese products. They are nationalistic in wanting to support Japanese industries. Some Malaysians only fly MAS even if they have to pay more or buy fuel from Petronas even if they have to drive farther to find a Petronas petrol station for the same reason.
I whack the Chinese. And for that I am being called a racist. But do I think that the Chinese are not ‘real’ citizens of Malaysia and therefore do not deserve equal treatment or I think that the Chinese are inferior people? Far from it! In fact, I think the opposite.
But I also whack the Malays (and have been doing so for a long time). So does that make me a racist when I am also Malay? A racist is supposed to be someone who discriminates or looks down on another race. You may argue that for the last two years I have not been whacking the Malays much whereas for the 20 years before that I was whacking the Malays kau-kau.
Well, what more can I say about the Malays that I have not already said? I have already repeated so many times the same criticism and anything more I can say about the Malays will just be more of the same thing, which I have already said hundreds of times (yes, hundreds of times at hundreds of articles a year over the last almost twenty years since 1994).
For 20 years I was never called a racist for whacking the Malays. In fact, I was called a ‘towering Malay’. Only when I started whacking the Chinese am I suddenly a racist.
The bottom line is you can whack your own race as much as you want, and the more the better, but you must never ‘touch’ the other race. In that case, should we criticise the Arab extremists for killing innocent Jewish schoolchildren when we are not Arab? Should Australians criticise the Umno Malays for what the ‘whites’ view as fraudulent general elections in Malaysia?
You can only whack someone of your own race but not someone from another race even if there is cruelty and injustice involved. So that would mean non-Malays or foreigners should not criticise Umno or the Arabs unless you are Malay or Arab. Is that how it works? And if you do not follow this ‘rule’ does that make you a racist?
Okay, let us now talk about the so-called Chinese Tsunami last Sunday, 5th May 2013. Never mind whether it was or was not a Chinese Tsunami. Umno says it was. DAP says it was not. However, even if it was a Chinese Tsunami, what is wrong with that? Is that racism? That is called parochialism. So you voted for your community. So what? That does not make you a racist.
Let’s go to another example. Would a Chinese win if he/she contested in, say, Besut? Let’s say a PAS Chinese candidate born in Bagan, Penang, contested in Besut against an Umno Malay candidate born in Jertih, Terengganu. Would the PAS members in Besut vote for PAS or for Umno?
Hence both PAS and Umno would not only field Malay candidates in Besut but the Malay must also be local born. Even Anwar Ibrahim may lose against a local boy like, say, Idris Jusoh. So this is not about race. This is about ‘good politics’. And it is not race that decides but parochialism. And that is the same reason why Dr Wan Azizah Wan Ismail will never win a seat in Singapore even though she was born in Singapore and even if Singapore laws allow her to contest. She is not Singaporean. Period.
Racism is foul. Parochialism is normal. Nationalism is commendable. Just don’t confuse one with the other. And do not label everything as racism. If not then the ‘Malay’ government of Malaysia will have no business to protest if one day the US attacks China. Umno is neither Chinese nor ‘white’.
Racism is usually defined as views, practices and actions reflecting the belief that humanity is divided into distinct biological groups called races and that members of a certain race share certain attributes which make that group as a whole less desirable, more desirable, inferior or superior.
The exact definition of racism is controversial both because there is little scholarly agreement about the meaning of the concept "race", and because there is also little agreement about what does and doesn't constitute discrimination. Critics argue that the term is applied differentially, with a focus on such prejudices by whites, and defining mere observations of racial differences as racism. Some definitions would have it that any assumption that a person's behaviour would be influenced by their racial categorization is racist, regardless of whether the action is intentionally harmful or pejorative. Other definitions only include consciously malignant forms of discrimination. 
Among the questions about how to define racism are the question of whether to include forms of discrimination that are unintentional, such as making assumptions about preferences or abilities of others based on racial stereotypes, whether to include symbolic or institutionalized forms of discrimination such as the circulation of ethnic stereotypes through the media, and whether to include the socio-political dynamics of social stratification that sometimes have a racial component. Some definitions of racism also include discriminatory behaviours and beliefs based on cultural, national, ethnic, caste, or religious stereotypes.
Racism and racial discrimination are often used to describe discrimination on an ethnic or cultural basis, independent of whether these differences are described as racial. According to the United Nations convention, there is no distinction between the terms racial discrimination and ethnic discrimination, and superiority based on racial differentiation is scientifically false, morally condemnable, socially unjust and dangerous, and that there is no justification for racial discrimination, in theory or in practice, anywhere.
In history, racism has been a major part of the political and ideological under-pinning of genocides such as The Holocaust, but also in colonial contexts such as the rubber booms in South America and the Congo, and in the European conquest of the Americas and colonization of Africa, Asia and Australia. It was also a driving force behind the transatlantic slave trade, and behind states based on racial segregation such as the USA in the nineteenth and early twentieth centuries and South Africa under apartheid. Practices and ideologies of racism are universally condemned by the United Nations in the Declaration of Human Rights.
NAAR: I share every bit of this article strongly. can't stresses more. and I've posted about this several times too.
Chinese will NEVER admit that they are the racist lot, and will always keep on blaming the Malays (in this country at least). BUT honestly Chinese people, list your everyday 'racist' thing about the Malays other than the UMNO is Malays only, other than NEP policies (which does not exist anymore but they keep on yapping about it)....other than, government institution mostly Malays dominated (and mind you why is that? of course YOU never want to admit that it is YOU people who does not want to enter govt. institutions because that would be 'too Malay'. the same way you lot whining about the lack of your ethnic in the police and army...but hey, YOU lot does not like the idea to start from scratch if it's in the police force - YOU want inspector post and not low key ones, YOU want to be taiko straight away. and the army less chinese? who's fault is that? the same principle applies...if possible YOU want to be the general and not some Malay, but YOU dont want to do the dirty jobs....with all that strikes out, there nothing much isn't it? 
Now I list about the YOU people.
-chinese most of the times speak their mother tongue at the present of other ethnicity. 
-jobstreet ads Chinese dominated - with clear signs of "mandarin preferred", "mandarin is an advantage" the same way you take a stroll down Sunway pyramid and see most stores would put up ads "Chinese female preferred", "Chinese female only", "Mandarin speaking only" for a low key position such as sales person. BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT you lot are not racist still.
-admit the fact that YOU lot practice different 'price' for your services to other than Chinese. YOU lot will always mark-up the price e.g: go to any car services private own ones not like fancy shamancy Aeons ones, YOU will put higher price to the Malays. other scenario: calling a plumber to fix a pipe : Malay plumber would cost half than the Chinese plumber. 
-admit that YOU lot practice "chinese first, everything other than that, last" in almost everything you do. 
-simple scenario (and encountered many times): in a parking lot, everyone madly looking for a spot, then comes a Chinese couple and you slowed your car to ask them if they're leaving the place, most of the times they'll reply you coldly with a "no" or even just a simple shrug. yet you follow them still or stand by and looking from a distance, then suddenly they moved out their space to give way to their 'kind' who just came by and did what you did (asking etc) and they got the spot. 
-another ugly scenario: in McD subang jaya (a very Chinese dominated hang out place), I let my Malay kid played at the playground. there were 2 chinese kids playing. suddenly, the older chinese girl stopped my daughter everytime she wanted to slide down the slides, everytime. and then she would look angrily at her. after a few attempts naturally my daughter be spooked off. I, was standing by and watching everything assured my daughter that it's ok and had to naturally intervened by standing close to her at the slides, all the time speaking in english so that the other 2 kids could hear that it is ok, let's play together. they are friends. then suddenly, the big gal took off and came back with her mom. the mom initially said " what wrong?" then saw me there, and right away changed to mandarin. after dont know what she says with her kids, she took off with them both. leaving hastily as if we were infected with some contagiously ill disease. 
--------------- of course NOT all are like these people that I've encountered with. BUT MOST are like that. now leave you with the following and think whether it's racist.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Apa lagi Melayu tak mau?

the dusts of GE13 has settles and what we see is what PM called "Chinese Tsuanamis". Taking the cue from PM's victor speech, the Utusan daily runs a controversial headlines "Apa lagi Cina mau?" (what do the chinese want?"). it sparks furore amongst the pro-PR, chinese mostly, other Chinese as well and even some 'liberal' Malays. Utusan online was down the whole day yesterday. Before the malays and even chinese got all riles up, MCA supremo, Dr. Chua Soi Lek tweeted in the aftermath of GE13 the followings: 

Thus the ideas of malays vs chinese in terms of political power is no longer an idea - it poses a serious need of contemplation. Meanwhile the proPRs rapidly go for 'damage control' - using the social media to propagate that this malays vs chinese and this 'chinese tsunamis' are fallacies. figment of imagination of the scared UMNO/BN, Malays. the bogeyman 'Chinese' is being used to secure seats. this will be the 'modal' Anwar and his cohorts will use, and malaysians will have to endure to another 5 long years of never-ending politicking. First of all, I've never seen PM so angry even during those short years as journo, covering him as the TPM, cant see his angry face but at yesterdays pc, you can clearly see he was agitated. And I am sure, as PM, he wouldnt dare say something like this, if he has not the numbers. certainly the numbers were presented and that is why PM can say such a thing. this is not an assumption, it is a fact. the chinese have left BN en masse.

it is more disheartening thatthe so-called 'liberal' more 'enlightened' Malays (those in PAS included) are the ones supporting this cause too. they rant when utusan runs the controversial headlines. they rant because that's the truth. it's bitter, but it's truth. simply said "apa lagi cina mau?" - to most analyst, pundits they reckon that the Chinese wants "kuasa bagi cina,amend constitution" -SIMPLE. And i share this sentiment. itu saja dia mau yang dia masih tak dpt, the DAPs.

meanwhile "apa lagi PKR mau?" - also simple"Anwar jadi PM"

and "apa lagi PAS mau?" - "negara Islam"


I have nothing much to say to the DAP supporters becausetheir motivation has been clear from day one - chase out anythingmalays/islamic abt this country.

BUT I have one thing to say to the Malays be it in PKR andPAS, especially in PAS.

If you guys truly believe that Malaysia is un-Islamicbecause of BN-UMNO led govt, can you deny the followings as being Islamic?

a) Halal stamps - msia is one of the leading if not thepioneers of halal stamps, endorsing and 'safeguarding' fellow muslims fromconsuming nonhalal foods/drinks. even in islamic country like UAE, adopted thispolicy in 2011. we have been doing it since 2003. now govt is gearing up tomake this country the world's halal hub.

b) masjids/ mussolla abundance - are muslims praying on thestreets? mussolla are made compliance criteria in public malls/hotels. takeindonesia eg: 79% are muslims, but it's difficult to find mussolla as easy andas comfortable like in msia.

c) Malaysia has practice/ implement Syariah courts/laws whenit comes to Muslims albeit not at the federal levels.

d) Islamic education made compulsory for muslims in schools.

e) the call for prayers, azan, are not banned, unlike inSpore for example (i take sg as eg. as many 'liberal' malays so much want to belike sg.)

I stopped at that. in short, if you want to preserve Islamicvalues and prosper it and you honestly think you can achieve that by supportingthe PR because PAS is with them, think again. Instead of Msia we have today, wecan be very much like the Indons when it comes to Islamic virtues - apostasycelebrated on the basis of 'freedom of religion', interfaith marriages condoneetc. and let me tell you, it is the agenda here especially in certain NGOs. iknow so, i've worked with them!

and when it comes to aspect of 'bangsa', if you think youcan preserve the 'Malayness' by voting for PR, because PKR is there, PAS isthere - think again. chances are we will be like Spore, where Muslims are beingoppressed and sidelined.

again, if you think you want to abolish these fourfundamentals in the constitution - the Muslims royals, Islam as officialreligion, Malays and bumiputra rights and Malays language - if you think allthese four parameters should be abandoned, then by all means support the PRbecause eventually this is what the DAP wants.

we are able to sustain those parameters enshrined in theconstitution because of the current govt, because it is a fact as it has shownagain in ge13, in the bn - it is umno that has control and in majority. BUT ifit's PR, it will be DAP that has control and majority, and in Karpal's words -over his dead body! if you want to have Islamic country!

utusan should run another headlines "apa Melayu tak mau lagi? (read: perlembagaan)" instead.

personally: first step, I am fine as a Malay if they want totake away my 'rights', in the same way and aspirations I demand that vernacularschools should be out! if you can deal with that, we can start talking.

all said and done, am not saying BN and UMNO is withoutfaults. this is the time for change. take out deadwood in UMNO, scandalous,trouble makers, ungrateful - shahrizat must go, rais also must go. if things is not changed in the next 5 years, even I will have doubt of bn/umno and will vote against them too. last chance for bn. please deliver. changes must include:-

a) limit the terms of ministerial posts
b) automatic voters registration when reached 21 years old
c) being a candidate in elections (next ge14) and ministers overall must have higher, tougher criteria. eg: the Muslims politician should have 'khatam al-quran', able to be imam in solah and basically all have paper qualifications - minimum bachelor degree (just like the 'rakyats' have to have certain qualifications in job hunting, being a politician too must have certain "standards" in terms of academic excellence.
d) third/fourth etc. language mastery is added advantage - the Chinese/Indians/Lain2 leaders must be fluent in Bahasa, and so too the Malays leaders must be proficient in English. again, there must be certain "standards" for politicians after all it is the position of representing the n (read: population).
e) good knowledge in economies, history and law.

Kak ros, please take the backseat. politics is aboutperceptions too. many people are complaining about you seemingly controllingover your hub, as I am a wife myself i can understand the sentiment of beingsupportive of the spouse, but if the wishes of the people is to see less ofyou, then do take note. I have nothing against you. and not condoning anyaccusations of the PR ppl on the lavishness lifestyles you have BUT just thisonce, now the mandate is secured, take the backseat for the love of your hub. Keepthe jewels, the birkins, the blings blings at home and private functions. Followthe style of most first ladies of the world – keep it minimum, simple. Tawaddukis key. And this goes out to all the politicians’ wives and gfs and childrenand families. Tawadduk tawadduk.

[PS] ive added up some more thoughts on this, ending it with a KRU song. don't know what happened and truly am tired to re-edit.. (got some links with "evidences" supporting that notion that DAP indeed have an ulterior motive on its political ambitions...ah penat. then there's the sinchew's online cartoon, very racist too if you ask me. go to for that anecdote. dah malas aa nak tulis lagi. have been a week consumed with this topic. i am just getting tired and fed-up with the Malays especially that so-called liberal and more enlightened than others just because they feel that they're rooting for PR but fails to see the real agenda behind it. but then again, it's a democratic country, don't be such hypocrites if you can accept the state results with massive 38 parliamentary seats for DAP, then why can't accept the federal results? rumour mongers about the bangladeshi, phantom voters, blackouts should all stopped.  

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Like a virgin....voter, vote for the very first time.

Salaam. At the moment (11am) I've yet to vote. Am waiting for my husband to take a quick break from the electrifying news room and take me to the polling centre. 

Thought of uploading this yesterday. BUT no thanks to slow connectivity and god knows what, it just didn't come out. 

A little bit delayed. My first time v-logging and sharing some thoughts on the PRU13.