Monday, July 12, 2010

Revamp, re-construct,renew

The day ive been waiting for ever since taking up that offer, has finally came and done with. From today onwards, im officially a grad student.

I must admit, after 4 years leaving uni life, getting myself back in the game of reading scholarly materials, writing analysis about an issue, attending classes all a bit nervewrecking and intimidating.

But it is only my first day at school. If things go well and according to plan, i'll graduate in a year time. And hopefully with good grades if not flying off the walls grades.

Apart from getting myself back in the routine of that a student- the revising notes, the group discussions, presentations and what not- another crucial aspect that i hope to benefit from this whole ordeal is brushing up the communicationn skills- especially the english lingo. As this would significantly be useful for me in the future as an aspiring lecturer- i really need to be in academia elements if theres such a thing.

On a different note, being a student again - although am doing it on full-time basis, i dont see myself as one. What i am unfortunately doing 'full-time' is play mommy role. Yes, im talking about my baby girl as the bos of me and im her nanny. Evenmore crucial now that my maid took off yesterday. In that sense, im as part-time as most of my new classmates are and that would require me being more hardworking. Hope i can cope.

In the meantime, me got new site to my name in this blog sphere.


Saturday, June 5, 2010

Ops israelis doing it again! And again..and again again again...

By today- it's not just Islamic countries ir communities but the whole world whose concern with Israelis attrocities on the interceptions of world's flotilla convoy-standing united in condemnation towards tel aviv and netanyahu!

Though more than 20 lives of innocent activist were killed- most shot in close range by Israelis commandos who raided the Mavi marmara ship - the zionists wont stop their cause.

No more is the issues of religion - there are islam, christians, jews and even atheist but they come together in the name of humantarian efforts to relinquish the blockade on helpless Gazans - something that should have been stopped a long time ago.

Palestinians should be freed! Palestine should be allowed to fuction as a country, a sovereign state, exercising their rights just as any other countries.

It is no longer an issue of islamic jihad (fight in the name Allah) it is not a terrorist actions if a Gazan or Palestinian blew themselves up in order to protect what is left of their country. But this, this blockade, this attrocities, this interceptions on world convoy all in the name of solving bigest humantarian crisis- this is terrorism at its worse play! Tonnes of aid channel in hope of building gazans is not fuelling terrorism. But imposing blockade, uneccessary sanctions for basic food, medications IS TERRORISM!

More pitiful the western leaders act like a dummy on a string. Powerless over Israel - a state thats way smaller than those countries combine. Mouths sealed; hands tighten; eyes shut; ears deaf up.

What can we do than stood in congregation over and over again and condemn our loudest to them? Its about time all muslims in the world, arabs too, acivists who believe in the cause- come together and 'strike' the Israelis hard! Strike them now when they're most vulnerable! Strike them now when they're most afraid of their own shadows! Strike them and may Allah be with us throughout this ordeal!

Friday, March 12, 2010

Al-Fatihah Eddy Adika


Kullun Nafsin Za Ikatul Maut.

My condolences to the family of Allahyarham Eddy Adika. He passed away at home in Johor Bahru, Johor at 10 pm, 12th of March 2010. I think he's 22 years old.

He was ex-trainee at NCA TV9 once. back in 2008.

For the brief 4 months i had spent with him, i knew him as this bubbly, super charming friend. Whoever knew, behind those smile and brave face he kept a secret - he was diagnosed with a brain tumor and was struggling for dear life.

When he finished the internship, i never got to meet him and the last time was at Berjaya Media Nite courtesy of my old UIA friend -Liza. She invited me and said i could bring a few friends - one of them was Eddy.

I remembered that night we gigled, ate and just had fun. Posing for pictures making silly faces.

I was never close to him at work, but we did share a few secrets here and there, swapping stories once in awhile but basically he'd be one of my lunch-mates.

However, I would still regard him a friend. And as a friend, this is a second time i lost one. The first time was in primary school -a chinese friend and we all went to the crematorium to pay our last respect.

And this time Eddy. IF there's anything that i regret - is that i didn't take the time to check in with him especially during the last few months when i knew his health was failing, when he needed a shoulder to cry on or just plain company even if it means via sms-es.

I regretted the last sms was only a brief TQ and 'How are you hope you're well' when he congratulated me on my newborn baby.

And now he's gone I regret not able to pay my last respect to him. Eventhough every muscle in my body aches to do so, i can't.

reason #1 : have to leave my 9 months old baby who by the way fell off our bed last night.

reason #2 : the place is quite far. if i were to go, be best not to travel alone. and since other colleague seem to be working or occupied with something else......

EDDY ADIKA i am sorry. i know this note is too late. BUT i am so sorry. I still love you and will remember you as that cheerful EDDY ADIKA that was a friend to me. Though I could have been a better friend but i failed in doing so.

Above: One of my last moment with Eddy. Do disregard the fact of my silly face. Seen here after our night out at Berjaya Media's Night. There are more pictures of him and I, but it's all kept in my HDD of which at the moment seems to malfunction.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Pog mo thoin

1. I know i say this often, and it sounds so cliche, but that is just the truth and nothing more. i've been slacking to write solely because i been busy. ok not really. quite occupied with life basically.

2. Seriously I don't know where to start. So many things i wanted to write about. the many happenings, the pouring out, baby's know everything.

3. Just can't understand, why is it when we complain a little, or perhaps been vocal about any disgruntled feelings we are often perceived and labeled as sorry arse whiners? complainer? Can it just be that we are merely being brave enough to say what we feel out in the open so far there are solid reasons behind them? blowing trumphets and founded expressions of dissatisfaction - there are difference between the two. Though it can be a blurry defining line.

4. Are we supposed to be blinded followers? Nay-sayyers? to everything and anything to the establishment or superior that we work with or anything that matter? can't we have a differentiated views or suggestions or mere bashing once in awhile? you know, therepeutic purposes.( note bashing)

5. And everytime there are non-believers, critics or haters (maybe) - i just wanted to shout at their face and say " back-off" . If it doesn't concern or involve you, don't give your opinion to me. don't criticize me. Don't judge me. Your not entitled.

6. I'm no whiner! no, not at all. And it irks me most if anything people would call or associate me as such everytime i may have conflicting views. You have no idea have grateful I am. Your not the God of me. YOU don't know me.

7. Are you grateful enough? TO compare with others is so easy. Finding mistakes in others is even more easy. Doesn't have to be an Einstein for that. BUT many of us forgets that we are mere mortals, we make mistakes, you, her, him, that lad, this gal and I. WE. so don't discriminate. don't be judgemental.

8. I have my own reason not to like somebody. If i chose not to like a person, am i a sinner? and you ( the judgemental pea brain) hollier than thou? most absolutely not! get serious, all of us, ALL (can't be stressing more) have favorites. Even Allah almightly have favourite and that is His Beloved and Ours too Prophet Muhammad PBUH. So don't get me started.

9. Sooooo high-school sometimes when some adult would have the heart to make click or gang up for the mission to destroy others. (by reputation i reckon most, too kill literally they're faint hearted) It's so mindboggling to me on why these people can do that. TO actually 'steal' a friend of their 'enemy(s)' and poisoined them thoroughly until they become one of them- an enemy. Evenmore sickening at those poisoined 'victim' to be easily coaxed to defect.

10. I have no more love for this particular kashain. I've drained out on that. Every minute passes me by so slowly and kills me softly. Like carcinoma cells engulfing and suffocating me.

11. Now i learned the blunt way. That 'black' record is a phantom. I thought it already died out and a closed case. But apparently, or shall i quote "i have to be blunt to you.." unquote. it has not. Which totally explains why i can't be made anything more than what i am today. Any advancement halted until further notice. Funny though. Debatable really. To a point of absurdity. If the past is what hindering me from any pot of gold, i can take that anytime. (on second thought make that copper la gold is too pushing it LOLS) BUT, a punishment or reason so i can't take leave even if it's medically deemed fit, that's preposterous!

12. I was misleaded with that once. I was assured by somebody i trusted (then) that that somebody will help me sustained what i had and it was a non-problem. FYI: i had not 1 but 2 shigoto awaiting for confirmation as a resort and exodus from hell on earth. BUT i was assured not to go ahead with that. ASSURED until a week before it befalls on me. a week before and after i had let everything else go in the light of that assurance i had. they betrayed me. that somebody included. and it become the black phantom eversince.

13. not trying to revisit the phantom. the mere scribbling due to current surfacing of the issue and i feel i need to make it known to those who didn't know what really went down, of the hows and whys to just 'back-off'! you weren't there, you don't know, it certainly doesn't concern you so why bother? sebab best jadik nossy body la itu sebabnya kan? it's really fun to see other people got beaten up kan? wait for your turn then. we'll see who have the biggest laughs.

14. and because of that (if any) makes me a nervewreck. i want to prove them, oh how i want to prove them. and i already have the prove. and i want to have that biggest laugh at the end.

15. it's so bad to a point some labeling kyunoterebiwa losers dump-site. those who can't succed, rejects, leftist, side-liners (just merely playing with names) you get the idea kan.

16. If there's anything i learn; back-stabbing is a virtue, top-notch arse kisser a trait, villain always win, sugar-coated is reality, extra-hours is so charity in a mandatorily way of being grateful without asking back any monatery form of payment and if you make noise you reprimanded

17. Conclusion. what goes around comes around. being a sorry arse whining losers won't help (mine included) and to err is human to forgive is divine (yeah tell me about it) but to not repeat same mistake is magnifique, to not stay at same place for a long time is a smart-arse, to being pushed and swallowing it altogether is bullying anyway you want to put it!

18. stop fidgeting tomorrow's a new day, and if you hate hearing me whine a little, talks crap in between, curse once in awhile, praise the other time you can POG MO THOIN! that people is IRISH-GAELIC means 'KISS MY ARSE' (knew you couldn't guess that, i took the liberty of salvaging you from killing your self)

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Pimples Festival, Nabil the Copycat & Mee Yoke Haram?


OK this time i am determine to finish writing my thoughts that i have put on-hold for a few days. Banyak kisah nk aku simpankan sebagai kenangan blog yours truly that rarely get to be updated.

Kisah #1 Pimples Festival

Sebelum tu mari jamu mata......

ha pastinya sudah boleh teka apa aku nak cerita. OK. before that, a confession. I was never a cosmetics lovers, i don't wear make-up most of the time except if there's really, really some special occassion to attend to and even that i only use some cheesy cream for the base/ make-up foundations, a blusher, eye-liner (black) and lip-gloss. And whenever i do have make-ups on, i never really care to have 'touch-ups' every few hours/meals/drinks..However, I love make-ups product, I admire colors range that you can have to put on your face, I admire people who are savy when it comes to beautifying oneself with make-ups, like the whole nine-yards i.e. base, eye-liners,eye-shadows, mascara (curled up), lip liner, know everythinggg and look superb and most importantly confident.

Many times i have the urge to be one of those i admired looking with make-up on, but i cringe at the fact of those beautification kits that you need to have and maintain for years to come- the prices of make-ups that ever increased, just add to my reasoning of not giving into this kind of indulgence. So what can a girl do to at least have a few playtime with make-ups other than applying to younger nieces that are too young to decline my urge to be a wannabe make-up expert? Yes, i worked in one of those make-up stores. I had so much fun working as part-timer at Body Shop near my mom's one time- the experience taught me a few things apart from the fact you it is quite boring and demanding job as salesperson in a beauty shop (and quite expensive) because you have to do the product count of eeverrrything like thrice everyday besides the fact you must always be on your two feet at all times (except during breaks) because you are not allowed to sit and look lazy to customers. LOL! yes those times were tough...but i did learnt a few tricks of the trade , almost like a make-up 101 basics things you should know about during my course of service there.

WOW...lenghty intro. SO what's SAFI RANIA GOLD got to do with me these days? After reading a primary school friends turned famous blogger/photographer a few months back regarding her self-pursue of 'repairing her ugly face' , i decided to stopped being a skeptics to local cosmetics/skincare brand hence the very much 1 hour of contemplation before making the final purchase of the whole set (except SAFI RANIA CREAM a.k.a ala foundation/make-up base) - i omit that one since my intention not to find a make-up range but more of a skincare range as i feel you need to face that healthy face before 'flaunting' with colors or else you'll end up screwing the already 'fugly' state of your face's condition like i did since having a baby.

PLUS, the fact i have becoming more lazy on taking care of myself- especially doing the whole wash-scrub-tone-moisterize-mask beauty regime...i have actually let my face become a 'guinea-pig' to see how bad can it be if you be a lazy arse like i did before the whole face become fully infested with acne..LOL! yes, i was in denial that that can ever be for me, but sorry, it's turning to be a nightmare.

SOOOOOOOOOOOO, in that light and trying to self-motivate myself to a much healthier, fairer (right) and prettier (though i am perfectly aware i could never looked like Rozita Che Wan , the spokesperson for SAFI RANIA GOLD, i am not that shutupid you know) I BOUGHT THEM ALL that costs me almost RM150.....that is some money to spend on a local products. I disagree with anyone who thinks this stuff costs less than most products in the market. I mean don't compare with BioEssence and above kinda range...but you know the Watson, Guardian Pharmacy standards- this stuffs here is prettty darn expensive. I mean it costs like rm17 for 60g washer more expensive than my regular St.Ives of 100g that costs rm16. Not to mention, all the products come in small sizes (not more than 60g) but that is only because you only need a few dabs of that precious concoctions range...according to the salesperson la...(right bitches) LOL!


so malas nk cite lebih aku dengan semangat berkobar2 ala2 sangat inspired nak jadi paling koman berkulit mulus tulus gebu macam Ustazah Norbahya (dia pun duta SAFI jugak! haha) aku terus mencuba benda ini dan bertekad akan merekodkan kulit muka aku yang tak gebu ini setiap hari sehingga selesai waktu (jaminan/saranan SAFI) iaitu 3 minggu sebelum miracle happens!!

Gambar Hari Pertama : Sebelum, nampak..jeragat den ponuh kek muka (sila abaikan muka den yg macam penuh syahdu iteww..) jelas ketara tampaknya..LOL!

****(re-edit post)gmbr2 tidak disiarkan***, hati saya terbentak gumbira, apakah ianya benar satu keajaiban? tiba-tiba rasa macam Rozita Che Wan biarpun hakikat Rozi Cawan pun belum tentu. Ku rasa berrrsssih, halussss je muka.


So itula deh, gaya konsumer pada hari pertama. macam kanak-kanak ribena dapat ...mmm ribena. sukoo , yes makcik sukoo.......

ooohoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo....BUT how my joy was shortlived. Come second day, i wake up with a huuuuge zit right on the edge of my button-nosed and followed by more zits later of the day (after evening shower) - like superrrrrrr duper pimples festival..all around the T-zone area, me cheeks, the chins, uppers lips it's like those zits are coming out in revenge for me dabbing SAFI RANIA GOLD chemical infused on them! seperti jawat-jawat itu berkata "oh kau nak hapuskan kami ye? kami keluar berpesta di atas permukaan muka ekau yang dah tak cantik pun " hameeeeeeeeeeeeeeek.

BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT, determination still intact (of course lah, dah melayang 150 hengget den!) aku gagahkan jua untuk menenyehhhhhh SAFI RANIA 24 GOLD , katanyaaaaaaaaa, atas muka ku ini....

Gambar Hari Kedua: Sebelum, Acne breakouts! besarrr punya bertenggek kek idung den, namun atas efek pencahayaan ala2 cahaya keimanan, segala bijik jerawat yang sedang bersuka-ria dia kawasan T-zone den, kurang nampak di sini..
.....Selepas, tgk area idung aku yang udah jadik rudolf the red nosed reindeer- seolah-olah selepas regime beautification telah di-polish-kan, emphasize acne2 besar itew..yikes

so itu deh............apo? NOO more fugly pictures of me, just hope these zits will go away as today (1st June) is my husband's birthday, so i want to look decent if not pretty and least of all with humongous red-acne on the nose ! arrrrrrghhh....

ps: i was a St Ives / L'oreal / Gervene loyalist among others but if this SAFI stuffs not gonna do justice with that 150 cash spent- i am apa, so what padan muka aku la i vow from here on if this thing fails and make me look like *^#*(%*(# i will sue! (wahhh kerrrlas kan) sbb yelah nyah takde pun letak disclaimer "kesan produk bergantung kepada kulit masing-masing etc" ke kan..sooo memangglah nk kono pembongak SAFI..(wait, ini semua KALAUUUU tak jadi cun) tapi kan kalau mak mmg tul tul jadi santek berseri lebih debommm, harrrus mak letak kat sini dan war-war secara F.O.C kepada mereka sekian alam ...utk berkalih kepada produk tempatan.

TAPI kan.......kalau tak jadi jugak semua usaha, mak selawat banyak2 sambil sental muka mana tau jadi macam KAK NITA kulit gebu hasil "kak nita selawat banyak-banyak sambil cuci muka!" (sambil pout bibir )...gila kau nak deny kuasa magic selawat! :))

Kisah #2 : Nabil si pencilok idea!

NANTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! aku bukan anti-nabil yo, takkan la den tak suka wareh sendiri..lagi memang den memang suka ado laie kek dak bil soghang ni..tapi kalau salah tetap salah la yo. Last week , being a follower of ML shows, as usuals i only anticipated to watch SEPAH, NABIL and JOZAN's skits.

MALANG eh.............................mmg malang tu tak berbau kan, tapi sangat la malang bagi NABIL buat aku ni yang (antara) cekap 'membau' ketidakaslian karekter yang dibawanya last week- taekwando instructor! yang disebut nabil "taik-kwan-do" .

being an attentive audience and follower to SNL shows (note previous entry about comedian) I could easily sensed Nabil was duplicating Jim Carrey's skit on In Living Colors way back when ...not even 1 minute into his show. I was like..."OMG!" screaming to my husband literally while cursing Nabil in between..."TIRU JIM CARREY SEH!!!!!!!" then my husband asked "ye ke? mana punya?" and i enlightened him about it.

It was soooo irritating for me as one of his fans to see this once MOST POPULAR ARTIST IN MALAYSIA ran out of idea, that he was so desperate to copied someone else's and made it his own and the fact he copied ze JIM CARREY way back when, perhaps he thought was a good move as he might have underestimate 'malaysian audience's exposure' to foreign comics.

AKU yang tegar tak mahu diperbodohkan terus capai hp dan update status kekecewaan aku terhadap Nabil termasuk on ML fans page! i knew thought it would sparked criticism amongst Nabil loyalists, but i did not care as i felt it is my duty to be the first to let them know about this idiotic moved Nabil made and how unmistakenably he have copied the whole original skits from the concepts (taekwando instructor with moustache and all), the gimics, the story right to the scripts! the freaking scripts pun Nabil ceduk seh! tukar bahasa je...humang haih ..hagak hagak la (bak kata kau kan jang?) **puke** hence i have no respect left for this nogorian (sadly) and now just replace my affection to crossing fingers for SEPAH, JAMBU and JOZAN to be in the finals!

AND TO PROVE THE POINT THAT I WAS THE FIRST ONE THAT NOTICED AND INFORMED THE REST AT THAT OFFICIAL PAGE OF ML REGARDING NABIL'S's some pixxes to prove it. hehehe...(mak browse balik sampai sakit tulang pungkok ini punya lah semangat dan yakin saya orang pertama ckp nabil tiru...ive actually spent 2.5 hours hitting the 'older posts' button ...

Gambar 1: Sebagai rujukan yang persembahan Nabil si peniru belum lagi mula ..lihat admin ML post status at 10:44pm

Gambar 2: Rujuk si Nis Adnan komen pasal nabil

Gambar 3: ENTER yours truly punya 10:57pm! dan check-out yang lain masih takde kata apa rujukan kepada jim carrey kecuali AKU! cuma, masa ni aku kata lawak Jim tu dari SNL (terlupa) tapi aku pasti tentang pencurian idea terbabit..! NOTE: masa ni ada seorang umat yg tekan "likes" ..

Gambar 4: AKU post lagi yang status aku buat sebelum tu aku paste balik (masih kesilapan SNL bukan ILC) at 10:53pm

Gambar 5: AKU masih ni dah relax sat sebab aku tgh concentrate shows...dan aku post 11.21pm

Gambar 6: MASA ni aku sudah ingat balik pada marah tadi dan tk puas ati aku search klip Jim di utube sebab aku ada burn dalam cd sebelum ini (6-7 tahun sebelum ni aku da tgk cite jim ni, masa zaman uitm) so aku post link berkenaan tp ada video itu sebab aku pakai android (tak geti guna sebenarnya alasan hehe) (note: masa ni da mula ada yg post cam nabil=jim carrey? etc, mungkin setelah sedar komen aku terdahulu..)

Gambar 7: DAN seperti dijangka, aku kena maki dengan peminat2 immature NABIL sebab aku kata HERO kampung depa peniru hehehe (NOTE: masa ni peminat2 fanatik Nabil da kuar sumpah seranah in defense of NABIL seperti gaya layu taekwando itu..klakar gile)

-------------------- So yeah, i am so relieved i found back the postings that can clearly shows i was the first to notice Nabil such a copycat. and no, i have never done things like this, posting /commenting on official fans page etc, especially ML because i know as i have read the walls that the postings are mostly done by immature fans , often fanatics that likes to have vulgar words to prove their points..

AND click HERE for THE LINK TO THE debated VIDEO that is said was copied by NABIL and widely discussed in the entertainment gossip section

Kisah #3 : Mee Yoke Haram

ALA2 berkisar FB jugak tapi kali ini religious skit (hello mak bukan pasal raja lawak je uols) tetiba aku teringat and post komen kat fan page DR MAZA atau Dr Asri the ex-perlis mufti..since i m such a fan myself (almost, almostttttttt did an exclusive interview with him 2 years back when he is still in london, but was discouraged by my superior because Dr Asri was thought to be too controversial for TV news.. but my emails to him & the way he replied, i am sure he is every bit the kind, humble person everybody said he is , very different than most Muftis in this country that are so afraid to give comments when it comes to what is deemed politically-religious flavoured issues..jaga bontot la masing2 penakut...standard reply depa 'ooh, tak pa la benda ni susah aa nk komen' atau ada sorang mufti tu lagi kelakar, masa aku nk interview boleh dia mintak email soalan2 beserta JAWAPAN! what kind of stupidity is that??? kalau aku tau takde aa aku nak tanya kau mufti ooi...klakar. but of course that interview never took place despite me emailing him the questions (of course without answers).

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO apa aku nk kata ialah , status kehalalan atau keharaman mee yoke /mee udang di gerai pakcik jual mee yoke yang sedap di premis subang ria...

MAKA aku yang selama ni bertahun-tahun sejak akil baligh layaaaaaaan mee yoke kat situ bersama-sama kawan2 kelana jaya, kami memang regular customers la smpai kalau aku mai je uncle tu takyah tanya, aku pun tak perlu bukak mulut order, cukup kerlingan mata manja ku (cewahhh) dia paham "ah amoi ni suka extra udang, extrra cili " sambil arahkan kepada kuli-nya (kakak indon)...

SEHINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGALAH satu hari yang hening (drama skit) selepas selesai ritual mencekik mee yoke kat situ seperti biasa (tp masa ni da masuk uitm da degree so dalam 6-7 lepas), aku tanya kat uncle tu...apa resepi dia..sebab memang sumpah, tak sama dengan mana2 sedapnya mee yoke pakcik ni (NOTE: mana-mana merujuk ke premis2 spt di jusco food court etc) so dia pun duduk, dan dgn relax selepas menahan idung kembang kempis dek pujian aku yang melambung pasal mee yoke dia, dia bukak cerita............

jeng jeng jeng...........................

dia kata "resepi nenek saya, mesti pakai tulang oink oink (sambil buat tolak lubang idung cam bab* ) sebab kalau pakai tulang ayam memang tak sama..saya pernah cuba, tak sedap..."

AKU tersentak, nk muntah pun ada...aku tanya "emm tulang babi ke?" sambil muka tahan lekkk je takmo nampak cam islami extremist al-maunah ke nk pi pukui muka selamba dia tu walaupun aku rasa macam tu..maklum la aku kat tempat dia...

dia jawab "ya lorrrrrrrrrr...itu pasai sedap woo" sambil senyum.

aku angguk sambil ckp "ooh patutlah..mmmm mmg sedap" sambil aku pulak senyum , tapi senyum terpaksa. senyum kelat . kawan aku kat sebelah si fariza bashah masih syioook telan lebih kuah mee yoke dalam mangkuk dia tu...

SEJAK ITU, AKU TAK PERNAH MAKAN, JEJAK KAT SUBANG RIA TU walaupun masih ramai member2 seperjuangan mee yoke aku dulu masih lepak situ, sehinggalah 3 minggu lepas aku kembali atas dasar nk berjumpa kawan2 aku mmg tk makan la aku beli sekadar nasi ayam tp makan nasi je dari gerai yang lain di situ yang kebetulan pun gerai mee yoke kontroversi ni tak bukak pun....tidak aku mmg teringin nk jumpa tokeh tu ...

so aku post benda tu kat page Dr maza...alih2 kena bantai ngan sorang ni plak apakah hehehe

apa2la kata kalau timbul was-was jgn pi walau tkde /ade cop jakim halal aku mmg tk pi...and aku harap yang lain (muslim) tk pi jugak, tp kalau ada nk pi jugak, silakan.....wallahualam.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Burying the hatchet?

What does it mean for people who regularly 'revisits' their past? Does it mean that they're backwards lot when life is about moving forward?

What about painful memories? Is it not called "memories" still? A memo - recollection, remembrance, retaining, recalling. Unless a person suffers some sort of mental disorders...then you ought to forgive that person for absence of recollecting his pasts.

There's also another notion that people who can't forget, those refuse to move on are plain haters. Because they can't find in them the strength to 'erase' those painful memories, or a particular black episodes of their life.

Hence, you have the saying of "I can forgive but can't forget".

Of course this ramblings applied for 'painful memories' only. Sure, the happy ones, we would want to cherish for life.

AND then there's a saying of 'Everybody has secrets' usually associated with dark, ugly secrets/memories/experiences or simply just some facts (mostly embarrassing) that being kept private.

Now, 30 years of age - there's just two, TWO things that I've kept "recollecting" every now and then, and the pain just awful. These two things...concerning two persons in this world undoubtedly equating to be the two most hated persons in my life. MOST HATED. These two people have had such significance in my life that the degree of pain caused by them still bear scar though the wound is healed.

Thus, will I ever find peace in my life if I were to forget and let go of the haunting pasts or I should just let it be and take it as self-learning experiences of life (of course I have done so - especially the second case/person) BUT it is the first case that makes me irks so bad, that thanks to digital world I could still learn about thee's whereabouts/life and the 'findings' gave me a brutal slap of reality - that thee seemed happy and moved on (not to mentioned spawned, twice) which is causing me jittery that it's almost hysterical (and sordid too) not to mentioned all 'inspiring' as well enough to make me ramble here.

ALAS, am I really that sordid to keep checking on that poltergeist and got all neurotic when I do? Or am I really the mental one for doing what i am doing? Or less dramatic, am I the hater for not letting go? Whichever the case, I am making it a known fact here about this little 'skeletons' I have in the closet and something inside of me is saying that the poltergeist is doing the same too - checking out yours truly via wired world.

Anyways, you, poltergeist 7369, yeah you. I do know now where you at. Let's just see how long it takes for you to 'hide' yourself in the 'underwired world', cause I know the temptations are too great to resist. You poltergeist the scaredy-cat to opt for hiding. In the mean time keep spawning, confirming the other half of the poltergeist is nothing but that - reproduction machine. With one XX and another XY. Awesome. Don't forget another saying 'what goes around, comes around'. your juniors will pay if not too careful.

Ah, too carried away. This post sure screams me burying the hatchet...NOT, don't I.

Oh and another fact, the other less poltergeist but nonetheless demonic had also 'spawned' I heard. A XX. Now almost 3 years from where I have left, poltergeist #2 still hasn't made a thing it was 'envying' me much to be in those years. Still stucked (sucked) there eyh mate?

*sigh* OK enough of this. Enough catecholamine (that's angry hormone for you) fueled lashing for the day. Have an early start today. Hopefully am able to make it (for the first time) a candidature defense sitting for I'll be up, next week! *gulps*