Friday, September 18, 2015

Time Limit


This is going to be a short one. Just today, after I came back home from work, my husbad related to me a quite sad yet common story. Our friend's sister in-law's passing. A young wife of 29 years of age, she passed on just before sunrise. She was believed to have had a heart attack.

My husband rarely shares story with me. I am not quite sure why this one was important for him to shared, but I reckon it must've been the tragic way ofthe deceased's husband finding out the death of his wife - when he woke up in the morning, just like any other morning or so he thought, before that mad dash to work, he tries to find the wife next to him only to found her already faced-down on the floor next to their bed - all blued, stiff...and cold dead. 

The wife was not suffering any serious health problems, in fact the story goes she was healthy except did complain of being tired and backpain of late...

And then it occurred to me to relate to my husband my story - was quite recent and of late kept happening to me. That I too, had some serious scares of my life! 

In fact just about 5 days ago, when I had to stay up late in my failed attempt to finish some pending work (was staying up late for 3 consecutive days & woke up early each day), one night...after thinking that I had enough of the s**t, I decided to hit the sack at 5.30am BUT only to find that somehow my pulse was beating too fast...I could actually felt the veins near my neck beating fast too...and the veins felt so big, it seems. It was weird thing. Not healthy too...

You know when you've been living your life for 3 decades, and have gone through 2 life-changing traumatic experiences of giving birth, you've gone through that horrible pain of unimaginable ordeal that is labour pain! And this, this heart beating too fast your veins feel like exploding, was something peculiar yet you know it is unnatural and calls for red flags! 

Suddenly I felt like choking, my chest was heavy and I couldn't breathe. I know panicking is the one thing I shouldn't do. Tried calling my husband for help, but he was sound asleep. I knew if this is the way I'd go (God forbids!) I just want yo close my eyes and go quietly - I reached out to touched my youngest girl, just barely 19 months who was sleeping next to me. Her soft tiny hands against mine...I hold her...if I was to go, I wanted to hold her next to me. I shut my eyes and took deep breaths and exhale was hard. BUT that tiny hand suddenly moved and my baby rolled herself closer to me (she does that all the time) and I knew I just don't want to go just yet. I want to see her grow. She and her bigger sister. I moved my arm and hugged her while still taking deep breaths  in between - I don't want to die! I sniffed her lovely hair and just kept breathing and thinking of death. And I chant a lil zikir. I prayed Allah don't take me yet. I don't want my babies becoming orphaned at such tender years. 

Of course I woke up in the next 1.5 hours, alhamdulillah. Allah did give me another chance.

This, thing of a sudden heavy-chest, difficulties in breathing and heart's rate like a bullet train, happened quite regularly lately. And it's scary.

I told my husband, one time I tried moving my feet to called him but I couldn't moved. 

And that's the moment that I tell him, if anything bad did happen to me while he was sleeping, and he found me froze the next morning, I want him to know that he shouldn't feel sorry for me. 

My dear husband, if I do go before you, please take care of our daughters. Please don't ever forsake them. Please, as reluctantly I want to say this, find someone who will love them as much as I do (and I hope that you don't find another woman that soon to replace me when I'm dead)...that's painful. 

I know I haven't been the best of a wife and mommy to our kids, BUT I do try. And LOVE them with all my heart.

Dear Raihanna Iman and Raessa Imani, mommy sayang buchuk2 mommy sangat. 

For Kakak Hana, mommy memang cepat marah, but that's because I love you. I want you to be the best of a person you can be. 

For Adik Icha, you're the cutest lil angel. When I was carrying you mommy was diabetic, it was difficult. I couldn't eat much at all and never gained weight - and when we were in labour, it was the easiest part with you Icha sayang. However the doc had to used forceps apparatus to helped with the birth. Because mommy couldn't pushed you out. Was on epidural and already tired after 10 hours of labour. 

Do remember me all my beloveds and hope you will always have me in your hearts forever even when I am long gone from this world.

Sunday, August 30, 2015

What does Merdeka means to you

What does 'Merdeka' means to you? 

For me, it has been many. Sure as cliche as it may be, my Merdeka means being freed from foreign rule since 31st August 1957. To be able to wake up & live each day without the fear of guns/bombs is another. 

In my early 20s, my Merdeka means to be able to enjoy free concert on the eve of Merdeka & just loitering around KL till wee hours thinking that is the coolest thing to do (of course that my 'party life' didn't last mom was a fierce mama bear at home).

Then 2004 on the eve of Merdeka, I left my motherland for the first time in my entire life. I could recall in the plane, looking down I felt a teeny lump in my throat, it was an unaccustomed feeling. Was I being patriotic? I looked at the Jalur Gemilang my friends gave me when leaving the airport as a parting memorabilia - they signed & scribbled some well-wishes on it. The next 8 months of my life as an alien (gaijin) that flag kept me company, especially in my time of solitude & feeling terribly homesick sitting at the working table, the flag was next to pictures of all my loved ones, I'd feel that lump in my throat again. This time, that lump and I are tomodachi (friends). 

And in between the years of finding self & adulthood, that patriotism slowly diminishes and before long it's just a distant feeling. Looking at the national flag, it is what it is - flag. Now, where's that lump that used to choke me whenever this nationalistic imagery come into contact with me?

Fast-forward, in my 30s, I found that lump again. My 'merdeka' lump and I reunited after 10 years since its debut in 2004. Now, with two kids, my first born was the one responsible to strike some independence day sense in me. 

Her pure request of getting some mini Jalur Gemilang was denied initially until I gave in to her and bought each one of my nucleus family, a piece that costs only 50 cents each. 

Her innocence towards the meaning of Merdeka slowly made me feel excited again. We both sing in the car, even her younger 1 y.o sis tried to say "eka" short for Merdeka. My daughters and I sing a few rounds of Merdeka song over and over again till our heart's content, a bit off-tune yet we were singing so loudly and happily that my daughter even roll-down the car window and scream "Merdeka" at random people while waving the flag at them (she feels so euphoric having a flag in her hand finally).

Seeing my 6 y.o wholeheartedly celebrating Merdeka made me lumps in the throat again. Suddenly, all of the Merdeka lyrics reverberate deep in me. I want this maintained & treasured forever. 

I want my kids to love and respect this nation so that it will prosper into an even more wonderful Malaysia. 

This love displayed by my daughter who is 6 years old to Malaysia, is unconditional & pure...However, it will be a disgrace if her love and many more innocent souls like her get tainted all thanks to many of the so-called loving mostly young adult Malaysians who wore Yellow (read: Bersih 4.0) today, on the eve of our National Day smearing the country's image under the pretext of saving Malaysia, such a fallacy that needed to be rectify immediately before the damage goes beyond repair.

Sunday, June 7, 2015

I am no poet but you're my haley's comet

Although I rarely say I love you,
But do know that deep inside, I do,
For having you is truly a blessing,
Your my other half that has been missing;
Over the years my heart grows fonder,
But it's no wonder,
A father, a husband, a friend & a lover,
You know what tickles my fancy,
What drives me crazy.
Lately I know I am busy,
Forgive me sayang,
Though I appear to be neglecting,
Not an intention of deflecting,
Thank you syg for staying with me,
Albeit my waistline you could no longer see,
Please bear with me for years to come,
When my body be like a drum,
Never succumb.
Alas this is no sonnet,
For I am no poet,
But you'll forever be my haley's comet.

For someone who I miss dearly, and only can see you through tv,
Me hubby, in saudi. Come back quick, i am going crazy. With the kids & work that's neverending, afraid that i'll jump-off building. 

Huh, even that part rhymes. No, i am no poet.
Not even pseudo, not even going to try. 

Sunday, April 26, 2015

Subway Dismal Service

This is a story of a dissatisfied & frustrated loyal Subway customer. Today, I almost went the way just like many viral videos of angry woman engaged in conflict over what seemingly minor things - in my case of having my salad & cheese on the side! 

Yes, weird but I have my reasons. And I have been eating and having this order eversince my eldest took to the liking of having Subs for breakfast & lunch, say like 2-3 times in a week.

Her usuals would be either the breakfast strips or subway melts (both salad & cheese on the side) and would add-on soup + cookie + mineral (or coffee for mommy).

For a (now 6 year old) menu on sandwich - that is quite a pricey meal even more ridiculous if the salads & cheese omitted. What more with GST, having a Subs for a meal is something that many parents would think twice but not me - not being arrogant, but my eldest is extremely picky eater, thus when she does like something, I would just shut one eye and fulfill her want as long as she eats them, and Subway is one of the few things she likes. 

BUT today, for the first time, I encountered rude service crews, real samseng (word for goon). Really made me BP rised! And forced me to utter things (after provoked) that so condescending yet I don't think he care (or even understand) pUnks don't have good grades usually, that is why they ended being punk and had to work meager jobs such as waitressing at a sandwich joint. 

I was so irritated that I really wanted to just went to his face and snapped his picture, but my husband was being the composed one today, advised me not to. 

I have then sourced the net to lodge my complaint - FB, Twitter & Email to various chains - Subway Malaysia, Subway US and even the Dato' Vincent Choo - owner of Subway Malaysia.

This is my disgruntled feelings and unpleasant experience encountering rude Subway crew for the first time in my life. 


To whom it may concern,

I have been a regular of subway since forever and have been to most of the outlets in Malaysia, in fact whenever I travel overseas, I would frequent the outlet as much as I could. 

My tastebuds and crave for your delicious sandwiches grew stronger when I was pregnant with my second baby last 2013 - I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes and had to watch my calories intake - and turns out only when eating your sandwiches will be calories not shoot up over the danger zone & kept my tummy filled at the same time. 

I even introduced the menu to my eldest daughter since she was 4 years old and now she's 6. 

still a big fan on the subs though she's not so keen on the veggies and usually whenever we ordered we would opt for the veggies to be separated. 

And this has been always been our routine since forever and even post-GST. 

Dear Dato, as the owner of Subway, I humbly asked for your time to take into consideration to the content this email. 

I have tried looking for a 'Customer Service' link on Malaysia's Subway website, but to no avail. Thus, I think as the numero uno and a successful entrepreneur who have just received award of the year, I hope this email would not be thrashed for the improvement of your company & maintaining good loyal customer like me & many more. But even more important to keep in line with the spirits of Subway itself - keeping a harmonious relationship with customers & that customers would have the liberty to decide their Subs - it has always been that way and hope it will always be. 

Dear Dato, We have never encountered, I repeat NEVER encountered any problems with our order as weird as it sounds and probably caused a few confusion, but your crews HAVE NEVER been impolite with the order until today at Subway Giant Seksyen 13 Shah Alam, 26 April 2015, at 2pm.

My daughter would usually order the same thing, Subway Melts on Italian bread sans the cheese & veggies.

I'd like them separated from the bun because she does not eat them & usually doesn't even finish the meal, hence I would have to finish her leftovers (just some of things Mommy's would have to do) and thus I'd eat with the earlier separated veggies & cheese (and I would still eat this leftover even if I have ordered my own fav which is the BLT so it isn't the issue of being cheapskate. I just like to have extra veggies & cheese with my own sub).

Again I say this, this has always been my standard order at any outlet (and other outlets I frequent to are at Tesco Alam Jaya, Kelana Jaya SS5, One Utama Subway Ground Floor, Sunway Pyramid, Ramsey Sime Darby Hospital (SJMC), and Seksyen 7's Shah Alam outlets) - all of these in the state of Selangor, which is the state I am currently residing, and the frequency of Subs is 2-3 times in a week, including the breakfast menu. 

Again, all of these outlet I have frequent to without having to face RUDE service crews who would denied my requests to have the veggies & cheese separated. 

Thus, I would like to officially lodge a complaint on the crews at the aforementioned outlet - Giant Seksyen 13 Shah Alam, on one male & the female cashier (dark skinned & free hair). 

The said crews not only denied the requests on the basis that it is the rule and SOP of subway and was being rude about it. 

Although I've said that this come as shocking (the rules) as I explained, this "rule" was not norm at any other outlet, the male crew RUDELY provoked me with his gestures and tone & repeatedly denied the request. 

This was also joined by the equally RUDE female cashier that joined in the ruckus and supported her friend. 

Now, I do confess we've exchanged words and debated, as I said I have never encountered being denied the rights as a customer to have my full priced premium purchased of the sub's salad on the side, BUT is this how subway crews handled the situation with the rude male kept provoking me and asking me to go ahead with a complaint & even have the audacity to dare me to engage in conflict? And yes, due to his dare & RUDE MANNERS I obliged to the provocation and used my rights as a customer and did not proceed with the purchase (although the bread's already went in the oven for crisps).

Now, even if this is indeed the new SOP of subway of DENYING customer's right to "pick&choose" which is the ethos of Subway, does your crew have to be extremely RUDE on this? 

Your crew is so arrogant & acting like goons that even after I have retreated, and my spouse came over to talk things nicely...NONE, i repeat NONE of the crews have the decency to apologise let alone feeling even a bit of remorse! Especially the cashier who dared stared me back like a punk and the male crew who I reckon is definitely a punk!

If this is the way your outlet's standard - by having punks mending the front counter, I suggest to have them removed and enroll them in manners class. 

As I said, I have NEVER encountered such rude Subway crews, even during my travels in other countries. 

Please Malaysia Subway HQ, have this matter looked into Subway Seksyen 13 Shah Alam.

If this is really a new SOP, Subway should put it up on the board along with the menu which clearly says your RULES of not having the cheese & veggies separated & pay as advertised price even if you dont eat the fillings because Subway does not tolerate this salads/ cheese on the side which is UNUSUAL even at ANY global Subway. 

I think is utterly disgraceful - customers is paying the full price thus customer SHOULD HAVE THE SAY what goes in or out of the bun/ or what to do with what goes in or out of the bun, shouldn't they?

And I am not even talking about asking for extra veggies like some customers do even again that too is ALLOWED in the spirit of global Subway's franchise. 

Again if this is indeed your new RULES / changed policy Subway should have this on a circular & advertised!

As for the rude & incompetent crews that behave more like a punk than human - they should be penalised for their misbehaviours. 

I plea, Dato' have this matter looked into. 

Utterly disappointed regular customer,
Nurul Aishah Ab Raman
Selangor, MALAYSIA.