Thursday, October 30, 2008

Finding that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow

It has been awhile since my last update and my blog here's been collecting dust eversince. Wanted to share my Syawal stories but figured that topic is a bit outdated since it's Zulhijah now, a month of Hajj.

Too many things have happpened in the last few weeks especially in the politics world be it in Malaysia or America. And I reckon many more exciting things will take place in due time. I've always wanted to share my thoughts but never did manage to do so because the internet connection that hubby's subscribing is little less than horrible.

ANYWAYS, some of the interesting thing or at least i'd like to think it's interesting is my current determination and hubby's fuzz for exercising. I actually bought a balacing ball (spikey one) or some called it a gym ball and a matching yoga mat with a DVD on workout and trimming abs (as if) While hubby forced me to bring back from mom's two pairs of badminton racket. Now usually i wouldn't care much but i just need to at least try to lose weight now since the protruding tummy seem to be enlarging.
anyways, it takes alot of energy to inflate the gym ball and after all the hard work i force my hubby to do, i rarely use it. and now it sits fashionably on our coffee table. so much for shredding those pounds off huh?

other news: i'm still very determine to move out from kyonoterebi. so much so, i'm on a constant look out for shigoto no interviews and even jobs ads. as much as i love doing what i'm doing right now (and i believe i'm very good at my current job, my past record provetdthat) the place literally is 'burning me out'. every single aspect of it; the environment, the job task.

when i first started out the job, u know i was like any other fresh grads eager to prove i'm worth the employment. but unlike other fresh grads, i wasn't just eager and determined i really got what it takes for the challenge. i know, i may sound bragging but it's just the fact. whether i was excellent of doing so,is another issue and not for me to judge. but i was good enough i'm pretty darn sure of that.

as a fresh grads with first real job, i had to endured some scuffs. sure, everybody have a sad story to share. but i took mine, open heartedly.as cold and unfair as it seems to me back then, i worked my way through it. and in less than a year, i made it from lc to a better one. and good things lead to another, i was the brightest stars amongst all, so bright i rose and being made as P. and things got ugly soon afterthat.

anyways, the point i'm getting to, as much as i fret about the past i believe every single thing happened for a reason. and Allah knows what's best for us. and in my case, if i wasn't P anymore, i can never be anything else. I sure as hell can't be a R. so what i can be then? forever stuck as what i am today with no real career advancement in sight.

well that thought alone discourage my burning flame of working dilligently as i had when i first started out last 2 years...to a none-existance flame state.

now i work for money and every morning i dreaded of going to work, but whenever i feel that way, i think of my parents and that literally does it. that thought alone can drag my arse to office.

i'm no ungrateful person. i'm grateful with every positivity and negativity aspects of my current career. it's just that, i don't think it's a crime to think and dream a better life (career) other than your current one. and that is exactly what i'm fretting about. i want more.

amidst the economic downturn, i'm fully aware it's quite difficult to find another oppurtunity. but around this time of writing, i found one. nothing grandeur, but in many ways better than what i'm having right now.

now, the rest i leave to Allah. if this one gets away, there's always another door opening for me, insyaAllah. wish me luck.

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