Thursday, November 22, 2012

Most of the Time, Things Doesn't Go As You Planned: A repost

THIS IS A REPOST, from way back in 2008; was so miserable then just as I am today albeit the cause is different and on a totally new level. And so I thought I should repost my thoughts back then, now, as I made a poem to convey my miserableness , not too shabby (the poem) I must say (forgive the self-praise sentence here, gimme a break am a miserable soul now :D )...anywho, want to write like that again. 



you've wasted so much time, energy planning for something, and yet, all that careful (or sometimes not too careful) plans had to be change, unconditionally! devastated. crashed. unbelievable.

and then there's time and time again, when u keep changing your plans (at least for me), so a wildflower, u let the wind determine your course..

Wildflower Phantom - by Aishah Ab Raman/ 2008 (revised 2012 in italics)
oh why is it so difficult to make believe that thee are to be mine eternally
i know i'm supposed to jump in joy,
But the heart isn't filled with that;
when time fast ticking away;
decision calls for actions,
can i be a wildflower then?
will wind take me to places?
or will there be no help from heaven..
afraid of thee i am;
when truth shall reveals;
facts deep in the heart;
affection towards thee;
are much to none;
though i try the hardest;
i fail everytime,
and now the the inevitable fast finding its way;
where to run?
how to hide?
often i'm being waken from dreams at night;
awful ones that frights;
as thee i can't find,
in those dreams that voids delight
instead cruel phantom
keeps haunting me;
sucking all energy dry
banish me now, banish me please;
for i had never been this miserable in my life;
till you came and steal my light;
leaving me to deal with plights
no fairytales just awful nightmares;
keeping me uptight
no chance of daydreaming;
never a single beaming
oh why phantom why;
did u ever make yourself known?
if it wasn't for you phantom past;
i know i'd still be miserable bee;
but not as much as i am today and forever will be.

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