Sakit Tekak

Masih sakit tekak, ini (11.11.11) sudah masuk hari ke-5, kalau seminggu aku tak sembuh -harus refer specialists ENT.

Sakit tekak ni pernah kena diagnosed dulu - mula2 memang macam sakit tekak normal ; tekak kering, rasa pahit etc and then sakit, suara mula takde, susah nak telan - conclusion tak sedap badan.

Selepas makan ubat klinik rakyat kasik termasuk ubat batuk (walaupun aku tak yakin kemujarabannya) hari kedua, aku demam. badan seram sejuk. suara totally takde. sampai kalau nak cakap kena berbisik. Yang best anak aku pun akan bisik balik kalau cakap dengan mami dia ni...dia ingat mami dia main-main bisik plak..how cute that is kan.

Then, on the third day - demam baik, suara ada balik walaupun bukan tahap kemerduan yang biasa - kiranya tahap suara contestants karaoke jambanlah...bolehlah nyanyi tapi ke laut - lepas tu kalau cakap je sepatah dua - akan batuk.

Yang baik daripada musibah ini : suasana rumah agak tenang sedikit, aku kurang leter ngan anak aku, balik hub pun aku takde bagik satu jam buletin - segala hapdets aku kasik berita terkini jeks gitew. short and sweet. walaupun suara garau.

Pastu hari keempat, kotak suara semakin pulih. Tapi hari ini aku da rasakan yang sakit tekak aku bukan sebenarnya sakit tekak normal - punca sakit tekak aku adalah kerana resdung aku.

Aku pernah lalui sakit macam ini. aku akan batuk dan batuk dan batuk - tapi macam batuk kering , batuk kosong, batuk tak lepas gitu. Cakap skit batuk. Telan air liur akan buat aku nak batuk dan berdehem je mesti aku akan batuk sebab rasa macam lendir je kerongkong.

Dulu, seorang doktor panel aku pernah diagnose sakit aku berpunca sebab resdung. Kata dia, ada mucus dari hidung aku yang tak lepas (as in nak bersin tak keluar, nak telan pun tak lepas - so mucus tu dripping kat tekak membuat tekak gatal dan aku akan batuk-batuk) . Itu teori dia. Jadi menurut dia, aku tak payah susah makan ubat batuk, cause that won't work. Equally dia tak kasik ubat selesema sebab aku bukan flu tapi sinus - so dia kasik benda spray idung tu. (but i hate that thing cos that never really work for me)

Kemudian, kepada 3 doktor panel aku yang aku selalu pergi - sepakat (bukan hari yang sama lah kan, on different visit) yang membuatkan aku batuk ialah kerana aku batuklah tapi batuk aku membuatkan aku asthmatic. Peringkat awal asthma. So dia refer hospital, dan aku pernah lalui ujian asthmatic - yang tarik nafas dalam tabung ada bebuli tu - so aku tak lepas tarik nafas - verdict: aku ada asthma, katanya.

Tapi aku bukan asthma yang biasa menurut mereka. Asthma aku come and go. As such i don't really need to depend on inhaler.

-------------------------itu semua dulu punya diagnose. Apa2pun, sekarang aku tak rasa both batuk biasa or luar biasa. Yang aku tahu aku batuk, and semakin kerap and semakin teruk, dan tiap kali batuk -dada aku sakit. Nafas aku kuat. Rasa hidung memang sumbat. Nak telan mucus tu tak dapat, nak bersin pun payah (aku trauma bersin2 paksa ni sejak tabiat bersin ni 'memakan' telinga kanan aku)

adoiyai...banyaknya penyakit. CUMA yang risau batuk ni, sebab tak pernah kalau aku batuk, hub pun akan batuk-batuk - so dia pun kena jugak (atau terjangkit?)

harap bukan serius macam tibi.

Takut jugak. takut mati. dosa banyak, pahala ciput. Usia muda lagi. Cita-cita tinggi. Impian banyak tak tercapai. Harapan menggunung bak everest.

Orang kata sakit-sakit ni penghapus dosa-dosa kecil. kalau begitu, maka sudah terhapuskah dosa aku?

Namun aku pasti ini semua memang kehendak dariNya - peringatanNYA kepada aku yang selalu alpa.......

Another cool homegrown making a global brand..slowly but surely

Zee Avi, Sarawkian. A bit like Yuna. But she's more country-ish.

Mak dulu verangan nak jadi macam ni, tapi masa tu takde la utube sume, skg da ada, perot da berscratch-mark, dagu dah berlapis...takkan nak upload vid ss sendiri, kang jadi cikgu shida 2.0 plak...or better still pensyarah tet tet? susah jah. mimpi sajalah ...mungkin nak 'brush-up' skills anak lak, lentur buluh dari rebungnya kan orang kata, hantar dia masuk pertandingan nyanyi semua - untung2 leh jadi cam ND Lala ke...boleh pencen MLM kan? takyah kejer...jd pa anak je..kerlas jugak lol

I was a poet once...LOL!

OK. I am happy to consider myself a 'neither here nor there' type when it comes to my English proficiency. Of course, this degradation is only recent. Um, OK who am I kidding. I guess my English's deteriorated since I started my uni years and just gotten even worse when I embarked my journey as an employee.

BUT circa Sri Amanian years - I was pretty skillful. (Patting myself on the back now)

NO make that, awesome. LOL! (so, suka ati lah kalau mak perasan this is my blog afterall).Yes, I was in the English Club (yeah, shocker huh?), even entered an inter-class debate competition (double shocker?) - i mean, i love the language but i love any languages that is anyways. Unfortunately way back then, there was no other languages club in my school except English and Malay. I joined the school's Choral speaking. (OK that don't really count as my line was only to "burp" and said "oh and my tummy to fill" LOL) [such irony about me tummy since i am known back then to always skip classes because of gastric pains]

My major exams' result (of course the English language, 1119 to be exact) was a testament to my proficiency of this language.

Hence, i got myself placed in IIUM for a Bachelor in English Literature right after high school despite me applications to this one uni wanting to do totally different courses.

IIUM. It was historic. Not only because I was the first in my family to ever got enrolled for a uni different than the most popular uni amongst Malays. But the course was equally historic too. It was English Literature. Reckoned to be more grandeur than the overrated English TESL (teaching English for second language) course. My uncle said I could be an English lecturers/teachers/tutors which he foresees (then ) would be in demand or at least would be very useful for me once i graduate (now).

Also, that year (2000) marked another history in my life - I started to learned to wear hijab. OK. Because I had to as it was requirement of the uni (it was an International Islamic Uni M'sia anyways)

BUT, the smiles i put on my parents' face didn't last . I was a quitter. BUT i quit not because of the English course, but more of the requirement of me to pass the Arabic language subject if i ever want to graduate. This was the reason. Although not 200% but it was a major factor of me wanting to change uni because of my fear for failing Arabic courses.

Heck, I ain't ashamed to say that I read "asam" (as in Jawi reading) when i was supposed to be reading "Ismi" (as in Arabic for - name) when i saw the Arabic alphabets of "Alif", "Sin" and "Mim".

YES, i was that retarded. I can't read shit. When all the "baris" (the lines - the indicators of the Arabic alphabets are taken away, I turned pale and couldn't make the words) I was a dumbo.

BUT oh boy, how in love i was for the "ustaz" (Arabic for the male teacher). He was my only motivation to go to class every morning (yes lame and very teenager-ish). Heck, i even enrolled for extra-classes just to drool when he teaches (LOL, sorry hub).

**************shrieks***********

woooo...so off-topics now. LOL. terbabas mak. mahap, gostan jap.

ANYWAYSSSSSSSS, my point being that i find it is true when they say that we tend to be a wee bit more creative when our hearts are troubled/sad/depressed...creative in the sense that we may poured that wrenching emotions into words like a song/poetry even diary entry ok not something 'creatively' suicidal.

I mean look at all the great artists (musically) that ever lived - Kurt Cobain was at the peak of his success when his life was all shitty, so was Amy Winehouse's rise to fame with her emotional driven lyrics after a devastating break-ups.

AND i find myself no different than those artist. (OK mak perasan sat)

TAPI tang ini memang aku perasan sejak kecik, sebab masa kecik-kecik aku selalu bergaduh dengan kakak (teh) aku - kami macam anjing dengan kucing - and the not so syiok part was, everytime we had a brawl with each other, she always got mom's side although i am younger than her (mak bagi aku masa tu suka side dia..LOL) so, pergilah beta tuan puteri membawa diri, menjeruk perasaan yang sodih dalam bilik sensorang - dan aku akan suka karang-karang lagu lah, tulis diari lah etc. (LOL)

but this self-soothing method of mine, of course didn't make it to any pop charts/publishers etc. (walaupun aku ada berhajat adoiyai sekali lagi mak perasan jah, sorry).

SOOOOOOO apa-apapun, korek2 benda lama aku tgk hokehlahhh, not bad what i wrote before in my life eyh - poem syok sendiri

dan yang ni plak version haiku 5 baris tak berapa nak jadi :))


***slapppppppppppppppppp* ** ok nak cabut sambung baca journal...benda ni memang syioks sendiri.

PS: oh nota kaki, hari ini genap 3 hari ayahanda beta dimasukkan ke HKL of what seems to be a minor hand surgery removing an infected insect bites but since he was diabetic, the healing process seems to be longer than expected (1 day). Now he will only be released if the wounds will be completely dried. Semoga Allah sembuhkan ayahanda ku dan ampun dosa-dosanya. sobssss...

i, as well as all my family members are so not used with him getting sick, let alone being hospitalized like this (this would be his second time) because he is that super-healthy dad image, always there caring for my mom the hospital-is-my-second-home image (yes, mom always been the frequent visitor /residents in hospitals) - it is so different at my parents' home without his jovial acts - menyakat anak aku , anak aku pun macam rasa lain Atuk takde - asyik cari-cari mana Atuk kat rumah :((

Ayah, an sayang ayah just so you know in case you don't. (am all teary eyes now...gotta go)

Biting My Own Words

Ok Dalam bahasa Melayu kiranya, terlajak perahu boleh diundur, terlajak kata?? Agak buruk padahnya.

#Terlajak kata 1 aka regrets #1

Besta MD221 electronic dictionary: see post

OK so i wrote and praising the jolly-goodness of how it is to have a besta electronic dictionary. Now a few days later, I'm retracting whatever i may praised about the product. It ain't living up to my expectations and most importantly needs as a postgrad student. It lacks explanations and vocabulary needing to be a postgrad student's standard. But who was i kidding? From the packaging i knew it was meant for school children (note: a picture of a school kid smiling ear to ear with the gadget, don't need to be a rocket scientist to figure that out, no?)

So, i would like to sell it to those in need. Bought at discounted price of RM199 (NP: RM368), and am selling it now at an open price of RM179? (come on, it still practically a brand new stuff with 1 year warranty, no scratch, batt still at its optimum) :) really would recommend for school kids.

#2 Terlajak kata 2 aka regrets #2

Shoes! Ever since i sprained my ankle whilst eagerly strolling for a Jusco's members sale day as a heavily pregnant woman (was 8 months pregnant) ; gone were the days of me strutting with 2.5-5 inches of stilettos, wedges. Also, that injury caused me an 'upgrade' of shoe brands. No more cheap stuffs (yet adorable) brands that goes on sales like everyday. From that day on, I could only find comfort with brands like Hush Puppies ( in fact i was a puppies' loyalist since)

However, most of the shoes that i bought even puppies one, i could only wear 'em for a few months, some just a few weeks. Most of the time, i can't seem to work my way out with the shoes - often it 'kills' my chubby toes that was in fact getting chubbier than it ever been. As such, the shoes some even 1 week old - often given away (with a heavy heart though lol)

So, i would mostly wear a slippers - flat and extremely comfy although it will make me looks sloppy and very informal for office wears etc. And not to mention, exposed my ugly chubby toes for the world to see. (note: me toes's ugliness largely attributed to those wrong shoes i wore since my ankle mishap in 2008)

AND so the search for the 'best shoes' were on and still is.

UNTIL just few months back - i thought well since 2008 my feet has been put 'off-duty' for stilettos and the likes - so, maybe, maybe it is healed. Hence, for Eid, i bought a 3 inch pumps from Charles & Keith ; a brand quite moderately more expensive than say Vincci etc. Everything starts from RM100. So this pumps i had was priced RM159 - OK for me within my price range of my affordable shoes lists.

BUT that too only had me wearing for less than a week and i surrender , left it in the trunk ever since Eid. WHY? that shoes bit me toes to pieces! LOL.

Determination intact - i still search for that one true shoes that would fit me (ala cinderalla fairy tales pula kan? lol)

YES, and just like in fairy tales - i bought a slightly expensive shoes (according to my price range of what constitutes 'expensive') a Clarks.

Just like a love story - i found a shoes that fit me, comfy and friendly to my toes. Price was RM310. No discounts (Clarks never had any sales - only 'bestbuys' to finish their stocks)

Despite the price and against my histories of 'disappointments' with shoes - i bought it.

-------------------------------------RESULT: am still frustrated, am giving up the 'faith' for my Clarks Mary Jane styled shoes because it made my toes beyond ugliness especially both sides of my fifth, smallest toes! The shoes brutally whacked it beyond its normal state. *Sobs*

NOW it looks like as if it has gangrene - slowly 'dying' on me.

Oh, good shoes, the perfect shoes, the most comfy shoes, how do i find thee? NEED intervention or else i am left with no choice but sloppy slippers.