After so much self wallowing, i've gotten myself back to the working world at least for awhile (that is the plan) until i can figure out whether i would want to continue on the basis of assuming a lecturing career OR back to sordid self of mere ass-kicking (ass-kicked) worker in the glitz & glam world that is the media industry.
2. Of course me gotta figure out exactly the resources needed for 100k compensation if i choose to adopt the latter option in life.
3. So in that case, there is no option is there. No way am gonna find 100k (and if i do find that much money I'd better spend it on meself-luxuring all things i had wished i have...)
4. OK for now busy-ing self at PWS under a new programme. Quite interesting. Internationally-issues-related kind. Which also means tons of possibilities for overseas work.
5. BUT time is short for me. I got less than 3 months to finish that damn thesis which carry massive 40 credit hours (serves me right...! f***)
6. I want to stay in this lala land forever..LOL.
7. OH, sweetest thing. Daughter started to make a sentences, understandable sentences, phrases. Which is a good start albeit some might say it is quite late for a 2 year old.
8. Either way, she's most adorable now that i love to play 'sulking-face' with her and she would come and console me, hug me and tell me how much she loves me. It is so soothing.
9. OK. suddenly remembered got lots of proposals to make (side jobs) and hate finishing what is pressing that THESIS. i just don't have the mood nemore..now that ISA is about to be abolished and all........freedom of speech so-called will be restored.......yadadadaddadadada.........would there still be any relevance if i stay on my subject of interest? or do i need to have a major restructuring? hatttttttttttttte this part of not knowing what to do..
10. mampuskan la..for now layan utube, layan lagu layan aljazeera listening posts lagi bagus..(^-^)
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Quick rambling
pure neglection to this blog since forever.
OK. so after me shortlived joy of submitting my proposal aka chapter 1 in time and receiving enormous positive feedbacks from the sv, i left it untouched ever since and that peeps was in july.
2. TYPICAL. there was ramadan excuse, and comes after the holy month, there was the Eid excuse. I mean, my work was constantly put on procrastination stage because of so many happenings in my life ( or reasons for the procrastination to take place)
3. So i heard that no sorts of extension will be entertained to any tpm scholars regardless the reasons they may have.
4. Well, i do have my reasons. And not that this news is a surprise to me, i am looking for an extension simply because i wanted to and do not think i could finish within the stipulated time.
5. BUT i won't dare to ask for the allowances to be extended as well. Hence, i have been scouting for jobs since july to have an early start for my own 'loan make-up' or 'rainy days' allocations fund.
6. AND just when i have lost the faith and given, came not one but two offers/openings.
7. THOUGH i dont fancy of going back to my 'old place' cos you know, wanting to have 'change' once awhile thingy; i have a special place in me hearts for that 'old place' you know...quite sentimental.
8. more than sentimental, it is actually, honest to god, CONVENIENT. yes, it is closest to my pad and the fact i've had experiences in the place so i pretty much know the M.O of the job specs.
9. BUT what got me excited was another oppurtunity. ive been a fan. the perks offered wayyyy better, but its location draws a huge setback for me. AND of course, knowing ive known most of the heads in the department from my past acquaintances; it'll only means that i need to 'bring it, or don't bring nothing at all'. you know, cant be screwing me good names ( and hubby's for that matter cos these people are mostly acquainted with the hub)
10. STALL and more stall. for now i will have more on my plates but i reckon it is for good in me life.
11. going back to work would mean: more hectic, more discplined, more stress, more fun and hopefully i can lose some of my troubling 'sloth's weight' accumulated since last year and in between hoped to be able to finish the paper.
12. ive seen some friend's work and i must say that though it seems hefty , most of the efforts been put forth are do-able. they've used largely from online sources without the real need of physically going through the trouble of library hopping and book huntings for hours.
13. alas, perserverance intact i must, strive harder i shall or be denied everything that i ever hoped for in search for a better life (economically).
OK. so after me shortlived joy of submitting my proposal aka chapter 1 in time and receiving enormous positive feedbacks from the sv, i left it untouched ever since and that peeps was in july.
2. TYPICAL. there was ramadan excuse, and comes after the holy month, there was the Eid excuse. I mean, my work was constantly put on procrastination stage because of so many happenings in my life ( or reasons for the procrastination to take place)
3. So i heard that no sorts of extension will be entertained to any tpm scholars regardless the reasons they may have.
4. Well, i do have my reasons. And not that this news is a surprise to me, i am looking for an extension simply because i wanted to and do not think i could finish within the stipulated time.
5. BUT i won't dare to ask for the allowances to be extended as well. Hence, i have been scouting for jobs since july to have an early start for my own 'loan make-up' or 'rainy days' allocations fund.
6. AND just when i have lost the faith and given, came not one but two offers/openings.
7. THOUGH i dont fancy of going back to my 'old place' cos you know, wanting to have 'change' once awhile thingy; i have a special place in me hearts for that 'old place' you know...quite sentimental.
8. more than sentimental, it is actually, honest to god, CONVENIENT. yes, it is closest to my pad and the fact i've had experiences in the place so i pretty much know the M.O of the job specs.
9. BUT what got me excited was another oppurtunity. ive been a fan. the perks offered wayyyy better, but its location draws a huge setback for me. AND of course, knowing ive known most of the heads in the department from my past acquaintances; it'll only means that i need to 'bring it, or don't bring nothing at all'. you know, cant be screwing me good names ( and hubby's for that matter cos these people are mostly acquainted with the hub)
10. STALL and more stall. for now i will have more on my plates but i reckon it is for good in me life.
11. going back to work would mean: more hectic, more discplined, more stress, more fun and hopefully i can lose some of my troubling 'sloth's weight' accumulated since last year and in between hoped to be able to finish the paper.
12. ive seen some friend's work and i must say that though it seems hefty , most of the efforts been put forth are do-able. they've used largely from online sources without the real need of physically going through the trouble of library hopping and book huntings for hours.
13. alas, perserverance intact i must, strive harder i shall or be denied everything that i ever hoped for in search for a better life (economically).
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Summoning the Inner Energy
OK. why is it when it comes to worldly things or "laro" stuffs we can get easily addicted or even would bust our arses off in accomplishing them out? BUT when it comes to pressing matters like in my case Thesis- i just hate it.
2. Seriously i need divine help. I've been stuck in gear 2 eversince end of June and this ain't good for me.
3. Am doing something about blogosphere because i figured that it'd be easier for me as well i am a blogger myself (OK tau tak hebat pun) but you know, i think i got the basic understanding of what a blog is about ...
4. then infused it with political things (as that is the subject matter that i'm required to do for my scholarship fulfillment)
5. then.........as if that is not enough, i gotta think something to connect the subject of interest (or more like subject of compulsory) to the courses that i've been undergoing..
6. the concoction: i came up with socio-political blogs & national security/political stability.
7. OK. so it is NOT something extraordinary. Probably even too mundane to discuss or finding out to some.
8. MY justification is: go low as this is only partial requirement of my MA in Strategic & Defence Studies..you know in other words; as i've been ranting and raving previously , i am RUNNING out of time as such I AM NOT gonna delve into HUGE IDEAS to save-the-world-mission based issues. that would be disastrous for me.
9. BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT just as i thought i've got everything covered, in fact was so euphoric that after my proposal's submission, i've got great reviews and a good-to-go signal from the SV without much adjustments- but yes, how me joy is shortlived.
10. thought i was going to make things easier for me, but SV asked to review 15 blogs in a span of 2 years! (i've iniatially proposed for 10 blogs in a year period)
11. NOW PROBLEM is what constitutes a blog to be anti-government, pro-government or the most difficult of all and causing me the halt = how to define a NEUTRAL stance bloggers to the establishment??????????
12. until i get this figured out, i am stuck in gear 2 forever.
13. hellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllp
2. Seriously i need divine help. I've been stuck in gear 2 eversince end of June and this ain't good for me.
3. Am doing something about blogosphere because i figured that it'd be easier for me as well i am a blogger myself (OK tau tak hebat pun) but you know, i think i got the basic understanding of what a blog is about ...
4. then infused it with political things (as that is the subject matter that i'm required to do for my scholarship fulfillment)
5. then.........as if that is not enough, i gotta think something to connect the subject of interest (or more like subject of compulsory) to the courses that i've been undergoing..
6. the concoction: i came up with socio-political blogs & national security/political stability.
7. OK. so it is NOT something extraordinary. Probably even too mundane to discuss or finding out to some.
8. MY justification is: go low as this is only partial requirement of my MA in Strategic & Defence Studies..you know in other words; as i've been ranting and raving previously , i am RUNNING out of time as such I AM NOT gonna delve into HUGE IDEAS to save-the-world-mission based issues. that would be disastrous for me.
9. BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT just as i thought i've got everything covered, in fact was so euphoric that after my proposal's submission, i've got great reviews and a good-to-go signal from the SV without much adjustments- but yes, how me joy is shortlived.
10. thought i was going to make things easier for me, but SV asked to review 15 blogs in a span of 2 years! (i've iniatially proposed for 10 blogs in a year period)
11. NOW PROBLEM is what constitutes a blog to be anti-government, pro-government or the most difficult of all and causing me the halt = how to define a NEUTRAL stance bloggers to the establishment??????????
12. until i get this figured out, i am stuck in gear 2 forever.
13. hellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllp
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Namakemono Desu
Salam.
"namakemono" tiada kaitan dengan perihal nama. Adapun "namakemono" bahasa jepun yang bermaksud "suka tangguh kerja" atau dalam bahasa inggeris "procrastinator".
2. Aku mendapat jolokan itu daripada pensyarah jepun aku ketika di Universiti Bunkyo Gakuin, Tokyo suatu ketika dahulu.
3. Tiada gambaran yang lebih tepat untuk menterjemahkan keadaan aku sekarang yang semakin lama semakin "lemas" dalam keserabutan untuk menyiapkan penulisan tesis aku yang sudah tersangkut, terperuk untuk beberapa minggu setelah meraikan 'kegembiraan' menyiapkan satu bahagian dalam masa kurang sebulan.
4. Masa, masa itu "musuh' aku sekarang. Anak, perihal keibuan dan segala macam yang bersangkut paut tentang keluarga itu cabaran terhebat aku dalam menyiapkan kerja yang satu ini.
5. DAN, wang, wang biasiswa aku yang akan 'tamat tempoh' hujung tahun ini - penentu 'kestabilan' yang aku ada sekarang dan status quo itu bisa berubah sekiranya aku tidak berjaya menyelesaikan segala urusan dalam tempoh yang ditetapkan.
6. AKU bukan wanita super, mahu bukan 'SuperMak' seperti watak Nasha Aziz dalam satu sinetron baru di tv.
7. AKU ingin jadi wanita super ketika ini.
8. TAPI setiap kali aku cuba bangkit dan berada dalam 'zon' penulisan aku, aku akan selalu 'diganggu' dengan perihal membabitkan tanggungjawab aku sebagai ibu.
9. YA, anak aku masih kecil, bukan boleh aku kata 'tidak' kepadanya. Bukan boleh aku tinggalkannya, biarkannya, tidak endahkan kemahuannya.
10. AKU tak berdaya. AKU cuba. AKU sudah cuba...
11. JADI, untuk tidak 'merosakkan' pemikiran aku tentang keserabutan aku ini, aku hanya akan berserah kepada yang MAHA ESA, aku sudah cuba, aku buat apa yang termampu dan aku akan terus usaha sehingga usai semuanya.
12. Oleh itu, sebagai 'jaring keselamatan' untuk perihak kewangan, fokus aku kini untuk mencari pekerjaan bagi 'menampung' kehidupan aku pasca-biasiswa sementara aku akan cuba habiskan sisa-sisa penulisan dalam satu tempoh yang aku lihat setidak-tidaknya sehingga Mac 2012.
"namakemono" tiada kaitan dengan perihal nama. Adapun "namakemono" bahasa jepun yang bermaksud "suka tangguh kerja" atau dalam bahasa inggeris "procrastinator".
2. Aku mendapat jolokan itu daripada pensyarah jepun aku ketika di Universiti Bunkyo Gakuin, Tokyo suatu ketika dahulu.
3. Tiada gambaran yang lebih tepat untuk menterjemahkan keadaan aku sekarang yang semakin lama semakin "lemas" dalam keserabutan untuk menyiapkan penulisan tesis aku yang sudah tersangkut, terperuk untuk beberapa minggu setelah meraikan 'kegembiraan' menyiapkan satu bahagian dalam masa kurang sebulan.
4. Masa, masa itu "musuh' aku sekarang. Anak, perihal keibuan dan segala macam yang bersangkut paut tentang keluarga itu cabaran terhebat aku dalam menyiapkan kerja yang satu ini.
5. DAN, wang, wang biasiswa aku yang akan 'tamat tempoh' hujung tahun ini - penentu 'kestabilan' yang aku ada sekarang dan status quo itu bisa berubah sekiranya aku tidak berjaya menyelesaikan segala urusan dalam tempoh yang ditetapkan.
6. AKU bukan wanita super, mahu bukan 'SuperMak' seperti watak Nasha Aziz dalam satu sinetron baru di tv.
7. AKU ingin jadi wanita super ketika ini.
8. TAPI setiap kali aku cuba bangkit dan berada dalam 'zon' penulisan aku, aku akan selalu 'diganggu' dengan perihal membabitkan tanggungjawab aku sebagai ibu.
9. YA, anak aku masih kecil, bukan boleh aku kata 'tidak' kepadanya. Bukan boleh aku tinggalkannya, biarkannya, tidak endahkan kemahuannya.
10. AKU tak berdaya. AKU cuba. AKU sudah cuba...
11. JADI, untuk tidak 'merosakkan' pemikiran aku tentang keserabutan aku ini, aku hanya akan berserah kepada yang MAHA ESA, aku sudah cuba, aku buat apa yang termampu dan aku akan terus usaha sehingga usai semuanya.
12. Oleh itu, sebagai 'jaring keselamatan' untuk perihak kewangan, fokus aku kini untuk mencari pekerjaan bagi 'menampung' kehidupan aku pasca-biasiswa sementara aku akan cuba habiskan sisa-sisa penulisan dalam satu tempoh yang aku lihat setidak-tidaknya sehingga Mac 2012.
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