I don't really want to update this blog, but seeing that the last time i did so was about three months ago, i think this blog deserved the due entry.
BUT me boring life hasn't been much except the standards routine "happenings".
1) as mommy - now that my daughter has finally bounced back and hasn't had any serious flus since December (Alhamdulillah) i guess all that vaccinations worked although her BCG scar is humongous and very ...scary looking (pity her) - apart from that she's back to a pinky state of health...until, a few days back, she started to have weird yellowish discharge (eye boogers) not only each time she sleeps but almost every 4-5 hours but her eyes are neither red nor watery. she would also have these boogers on her eyelashes as such my initial reaction was eye infection of some fungus or bacteria. Did a little reading on the net - and found the closest symptom to hers as an eye infection of fungus like and treatable with antibiotics. Of course, i am no doctor, so we seek the professional and to my relief (and little doubts too) the doctor said my daughter is not suffering from any kind of eye infections but it is her allergy reaction. So no eye drops, no antibiotics - except some allergy syrup to be taken daily for a whole week. Now it has been 6 days, but she stills have those discharge and everytime she wakes up with those wax on the eyes she'll cry cos it's all gooey and she couldn't open her eyes easily. I must say, i am WORRIED. but we'll trust the doctor's opinion however by the end of this week, if her condition persists - we'll take her to her paed at sjmc.
thewholetruth: so there, another bump in my life. one after another. :((
2) academia
Finally i got the much anticipated letter from my dear uni, stating that I have to report duty on 2/7/2012 (by hook or by crook). Now, if only i have finished my theses, that letter would be received with much joy but....since i'm still struggling with the writing - then i received the letter with much anxiety and worried to my stomach imagining the worst case scenarios. (as always i have that tendency to think negatively of all things believing that it'll make me feel better should it turned out good but if it doesn't i won't feel as devastated - that's my rancid philosophy of cooping with life stresses)
Thewholetruth: i am so 'weak' that i've 'given up' so many times since december, again trying to find job to 'replace' this little academia dream - sorta get back to reality cos i know i can't handle the 'pursuit of dreams'. honestly i have only finished filing those blogs i want to look at for writing and now on chapter 4 wanna have it all done before seeing me sv who i believe hates me cos i am such a 'chipsmore cookie- now u see now u dont type'. am sorry sv , i just don't like to bug people knowing well i haven't done a good work to show - another rancid philosophy of mine.
3) baby sis getting married
insyaAllah if all is well my baby sis will get married end of the year. although that would mean 9 months from now, already we're busy with the preparation. cos it the baby sis, the final curtain of weddings for Ab Raman's spawns. Thus, everyone is anticipating it with much excitement - the themes, the venues, the flowers, the dais and the list continues. So last week she got her 'merisik' (proposal by elders) cum 'bertunang' (engagement) held. Very simple - the most simple ever held by any of the siblings and by far from today's lavish show-offs societal standards. it was strictly nucleus family only with 3 of her besties, but she was happy with it and that makes us happy too. all of us were there for her (except eldest sis who conveniently went 'MIA' at the last minute- god knows why, she and her emo self *slaps forehead)
thewholetruth: i wish that this happy occasion will go as planned and hopefully all of us will be there once the date comes in our life, insyaAllah. A happy ending for this year marking new beginnings for years to come, insyaAllah. parents have endured too much sorrows, too much pains - physically and most troubling emotionally. hopefully this year will brings us all in the family a brighter light - sis with her fantastic 5 figures new job, big bro also starting a 5 (or 6?) figures job and own co, baby sis will soon get married and i, come July will start my work though no 5 figures, but it's one of the morally sound job in the world. only time will tell.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
In the spirit of the upcoming GE13 that is to be held soon...
OK so GE 13 is said to be held soon...in JUNE most probably. Now every single political pundits are speculating on the date just as the case with many general elections before. I, for one couldn't care less when the GE is going to be, for all I know of, come the date I hope to be able to exercise my voting rights for the first time, so it's going to be pretty exciting thing for me (although the sense to be voter only came late last year, seeing the circumstances that the country is going through right now...)
ANWAYS, wants to share something very interesting I read on the blogosphere.
PSC on Electoral Reform: 22 recommendations tabled
- Parliamentary Select Committee (PSC) on Electoral Reform.
- Nine-member PSC - five from Barisan Nasional, three from the Opposition and one Independent MP
- committee met 13 times since October until March 28 this year.
- public hearings held in Kuala Lumpur, Kota Kinabalu, Kuching, Penang, Kota Baru and Johor Baru
- 106 associations, registered organisations and individuals put forward their views and suggestions before the committee.
the blogger made some interesting points and suggestions and i agree with him on all especially this...>> Here is one last suggestion from OutSyed The Box : limit the tenure of the PM to just two consecutive terms of 5 years each. Also the same for Menteri Besars and Chief Ministers. Why hasnt anyone, especially the Opposition, NOT insisted on this very basic condition? Most of the modern democracies around the world have restricted the tenure of their presidents and prime ministers. The American president can only serve two consecutive terms maximum. After that he must stay out for at least one term before he can run again for president. If we can do this, UMNO will become stronger. Maybe that is why the Opposition guys dont want to support this idea).
Yes, if this truly a democratic country as it claims to be, then why don't we limit the tenure of the PM, Ministers, Chief Ministers to a certain period? Just like any modern democratic countries in the world. In the true words of Lord Acton, "power tends to corrupt, absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men". Can anyone debate on that? BE it BN or BA or anybody, so long their the politicians, their power must be limited and restricted (at least to a certain tenureship to curb the greedy demons inside of every single one of them whenever they have the taste of that power.
For more on the comments read Outsyed The Box.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Racism still the issue!!
Salam.
If there is anybody who tells you or wants you to believe that the country has reached post-racial issues or anywhere in the world for that matter, well...that is just loads of BS.
I wanna share and jot down for my own record two 'racist' encounters i had in 1 day, in 2 different location.
Situation A:
yours truly had just arrived in a shopping complex's parking basement, trying (not frantically) to find an open spot when suddenly i saw 2 'c' ladies side by side presumably just finished loading in their goods in the trunk and still checking their goods (counting them i guess) and so i stopped my car, gave a signal, lowered my window and trying to ask them whether they are going out. Mind you i was jusssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst beside them and they just completely ignored my existence. Still, patiently I waited in the car waiting for them or one of them to look at my way to ask the same question or making a gesture of asking them the question....waited for about 5 minutes (mind you, i am completely open to the idea of waiting should they confirmed to me they are going out as it was lunch time and i knew finding a spot would be a challenge elsewhere) SUDDENLY, one of the lady looked at me, and I smiled while making that 'are you going out' gesture with my hand when she just looked at me in disgust and a frown (and very fierce, annoyed face) that 'NO, am not going out (or anywhere i supposed)"
LOGICALLY: the two ladies could have just acknowledged to me that they have no intention of leaving the moment i stopped my car and signaled as the indication of waiting and wanting to take over the spot once they got out. THERE IS NO WAY they could have not known my presence, i was in a car big enuff to see (although relatively my car was a compact car, small local made compared with them - a local sedan). Either they are simply racist when they saw me a 'M' with small local car (indication i am poor or lower income group) OR they are two completely heartless morons with no courtesy to tell others who clearly waiting for the parking spot. I wanted to go for the latter (while waiting i contemplated the idea- they're just morons, selfish, uncivilized morons)BUT the moment she looked at me with that disgusted face, i conclude with they being racist. can't help it. that looked i would never forget as if i was some scum trying to beg them some money. Fuck you!
Situation B:
it was later of the same day, around 10 pm after the three of us (hub, 3 year old daughter and yours truly) went to grab some easy-peasy late dinner before heading home - so easiest pick - mcD. we chose to dine-in as i saw there was a nice comfy playground within the air-conditioned eating area, as my 3 year old loves playground just like most kids, we decided to dine-in. So while hub was buying the food, i took my 3 year old to the playground that had 2 kids occupying the place already, oh wait ...2 "C" kids , 1 gal presumably the same age or a bit older than mine and a younger boy presumably her brother. my reaction immediately was these kids were siblings as they were playing happily together and the bigger gal was quite protective of the boy. BUT that was it, all i saw at first was just KIDS regardless of the race and although my daughter was a bit apprehensive about joining in the fun as she always does (she's really really scared/extremely shy of strangers) i waited with my kid to ensure that it's safe and fun to play with the other 2 kids. so, just like any mother would and the way i always do - i gave a few 'rules' and reminders to my kid when playing with others - don't push, wait for your turn on the slides and most importantly for my kid - don't scream too much! as she can get to be overly joyed and 'lose' herself in the playground.
so there i was standing on one corner, watching quietly my kid actions while running to her aid every now and then like when she overslipped or bumped her butt on the slides the wrong way - she was her normal self - extremely happy and innocently thinking that the other two kids was also playing with her. but just as the fun was starting, suddenly the bigger gal tapped on the glass walls separating the playground to the smoking eating area where her parents sit to eat - she screamed "papa" numerously while tapping and said "this is my papa, papa papa" frantically while the younger boy also copied her "papa, papa, this is my papa". of course when this fiasco was going on, my daughter was startled and stopped playing and baffled why 'her friends' tapping the glass - my daughter was worried and called me softly "mummy". I said, "nothing dear, keep playing.if you don't let's sit and eat your fried chicken". Of course my daughter didn't want to, she chose play time over meal time.
then, the mother of these children came to the rescue, frantically just like her children and uttered in mandarin "wa she ma" (what's wrong? i understood this only and i knew it's mandarin) and she continued speaking in mandarin of course not to my advantage - couldn't understand anything. BUT I CAN DEDUCE, the girl was telling/ reporting/complaining her mummy about my daughter (as she was pointing to my little girl) but the little boy didn't say anything just looking at me at times while this was going on. Then i believed the mother finished comforting the kids, she went back to her seat and the bigger gal slowly continued to play apprehensively and at times looking at me. I KNEW AND COULD SENSE THAT something about my daughter playing along that doesn't please her or something and i was already feeling disgusted by this. still keeping my cool, i tried to convince my kid that it's probably best to leave the playground and eat but she wasn't keen as she sees the other kids was resuming the fun - she didn't want to miss that she said "taknak, Hana nak main mummy".
So i retreated to my little corner and looked at the order of the children's playing ; first the bigger gal, followed by the young boy, and last my kid..they went up the little stairs but.....as they were going down the slides i saw the bigger gal raised her hand and showed "STOPPED" gesture to my kid with a fierce face. Of course my kid got little scared. she retreated. I still didn't interfere. then after the two kids went down, i called on my daughter and asked her that it is ok to slide down and she complied. then this bigger gal continued that stopped gesture again to my daughter the second time, again and again not letting her play together with them and scaring her with that.
after a few times I could not stand the sight and I called for my daughter to stopped playing and come with me - she finally gave in of course with a pouting lips and sulking face. hub came and held her to our table which was directly in front of the playground's entrance. My daughter couldn't understand why she can't play, so i explained that it's time to eat and just as i was eating moments later i saw the bigger gal also stopped playing and went out to her mom. BUT WHAT MAKES ME FEEL ANNOYED is that the two kids weren't siblings afterall. In fact the little boy's dad was sitting beside us and the bigger gal's parents was outside in the open eating area.
Seeing that I made a conclusion that put a label to the situation.
A) That bigger gal was a tiny miss racist, when she saw us - the "M" - came in "intruding" her "space" and "sharing" that playground she went frantic, even called the mother tapping the glass. then miss senior racist came in gave me a look as if i was troubling her child, talked in words i couldn't understand and leave the place with her kid who was then after kept showing STOPPED signs to my daughter each time my daughter wants to tail them up and down the slides, she stopped my daughter looked at my little girl's face as if warning her not to come too closely.
B) now i probably won't over-judge this if only that little boy was in fact turned to be her brother. BUT the boy WASN'T. the boy was a stranger just like my daughter was to miss tiny racist, BUT SHE DIDN'T STOPPED HIM PLAYING CLOSELY WITH HER, instead was 'protecting' her fellow race blood to play safely, so protective that i initially thought the boy was her brother.
ALAS, am nauseated with the incidents. NOW tell me if my girl was fair skin, small eyes, straight hair and speaks mandarin, I AM SURE THAT BIGGER GAL WOULD HAVE 'PROTECTED' MY DAUGHTER TOO and played with her happily and not 'spooked' by the fact that my daughter is 'M' race.
OF course i am not saying that it's the girl's fault to have that mindset, poor her -it comes from the parents - the miss senior racist was already instilling seeds of hatred to her offsprings, and her 'racist parenting' showed evidence at such tender age on a place so public and innocent as a playground!!! and our leaders are saying let's put race behind, the Malays especially have them as brothers and sisters of equally rights without prejudice ...when they can't even tolerate a Malay little girl playing along, can we expect should their 'kind' holds much bigger power they'll treat us equally??? NO WAY!
Racism doesn't need words, the actions, the body-language that uneasiness when aother race is within close proximity with you, you start seeing color, you talk in words the others don't understand (ok so u can say ur BM is horrible, but am sure you can speak ENG) the simple words "it's ok, play along kids" would have been fine.
SURE there were other 360 degree of non-racist encounters i've had at various other playground. The parents were fine, we let our kids play together, when the kids 'fight' we speak in language all of us can understand - we didn't see colors, we see kids playing and wanting to have fun. it is a sad thing that there's still these kinds of morons around us. I am worried with my kid's future.
in the meantime, take some racism test...http://youtu.be/Cebo_kI_BOo
If there is anybody who tells you or wants you to believe that the country has reached post-racial issues or anywhere in the world for that matter, well...that is just loads of BS.
I wanna share and jot down for my own record two 'racist' encounters i had in 1 day, in 2 different location.
Situation A:
yours truly had just arrived in a shopping complex's parking basement, trying (not frantically) to find an open spot when suddenly i saw 2 'c' ladies side by side presumably just finished loading in their goods in the trunk and still checking their goods (counting them i guess) and so i stopped my car, gave a signal, lowered my window and trying to ask them whether they are going out. Mind you i was jusssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst beside them and they just completely ignored my existence. Still, patiently I waited in the car waiting for them or one of them to look at my way to ask the same question or making a gesture of asking them the question....waited for about 5 minutes (mind you, i am completely open to the idea of waiting should they confirmed to me they are going out as it was lunch time and i knew finding a spot would be a challenge elsewhere) SUDDENLY, one of the lady looked at me, and I smiled while making that 'are you going out' gesture with my hand when she just looked at me in disgust and a frown (and very fierce, annoyed face) that 'NO, am not going out (or anywhere i supposed)"
LOGICALLY: the two ladies could have just acknowledged to me that they have no intention of leaving the moment i stopped my car and signaled as the indication of waiting and wanting to take over the spot once they got out. THERE IS NO WAY they could have not known my presence, i was in a car big enuff to see (although relatively my car was a compact car, small local made compared with them - a local sedan). Either they are simply racist when they saw me a 'M' with small local car (indication i am poor or lower income group) OR they are two completely heartless morons with no courtesy to tell others who clearly waiting for the parking spot. I wanted to go for the latter (while waiting i contemplated the idea- they're just morons, selfish, uncivilized morons)BUT the moment she looked at me with that disgusted face, i conclude with they being racist. can't help it. that looked i would never forget as if i was some scum trying to beg them some money. Fuck you!
Situation B:
it was later of the same day, around 10 pm after the three of us (hub, 3 year old daughter and yours truly) went to grab some easy-peasy late dinner before heading home - so easiest pick - mcD. we chose to dine-in as i saw there was a nice comfy playground within the air-conditioned eating area, as my 3 year old loves playground just like most kids, we decided to dine-in. So while hub was buying the food, i took my 3 year old to the playground that had 2 kids occupying the place already, oh wait ...2 "C" kids , 1 gal presumably the same age or a bit older than mine and a younger boy presumably her brother. my reaction immediately was these kids were siblings as they were playing happily together and the bigger gal was quite protective of the boy. BUT that was it, all i saw at first was just KIDS regardless of the race and although my daughter was a bit apprehensive about joining in the fun as she always does (she's really really scared/extremely shy of strangers) i waited with my kid to ensure that it's safe and fun to play with the other 2 kids. so, just like any mother would and the way i always do - i gave a few 'rules' and reminders to my kid when playing with others - don't push, wait for your turn on the slides and most importantly for my kid - don't scream too much! as she can get to be overly joyed and 'lose' herself in the playground.
so there i was standing on one corner, watching quietly my kid actions while running to her aid every now and then like when she overslipped or bumped her butt on the slides the wrong way - she was her normal self - extremely happy and innocently thinking that the other two kids was also playing with her. but just as the fun was starting, suddenly the bigger gal tapped on the glass walls separating the playground to the smoking eating area where her parents sit to eat - she screamed "papa" numerously while tapping and said "this is my papa, papa papa" frantically while the younger boy also copied her "papa, papa, this is my papa". of course when this fiasco was going on, my daughter was startled and stopped playing and baffled why 'her friends' tapping the glass - my daughter was worried and called me softly "mummy". I said, "nothing dear, keep playing.if you don't let's sit and eat your fried chicken". Of course my daughter didn't want to, she chose play time over meal time.
then, the mother of these children came to the rescue, frantically just like her children and uttered in mandarin "wa she ma" (what's wrong? i understood this only and i knew it's mandarin) and she continued speaking in mandarin of course not to my advantage - couldn't understand anything. BUT I CAN DEDUCE, the girl was telling/ reporting/complaining her mummy about my daughter (as she was pointing to my little girl) but the little boy didn't say anything just looking at me at times while this was going on. Then i believed the mother finished comforting the kids, she went back to her seat and the bigger gal slowly continued to play apprehensively and at times looking at me. I KNEW AND COULD SENSE THAT something about my daughter playing along that doesn't please her or something and i was already feeling disgusted by this. still keeping my cool, i tried to convince my kid that it's probably best to leave the playground and eat but she wasn't keen as she sees the other kids was resuming the fun - she didn't want to miss that she said "taknak, Hana nak main mummy".
So i retreated to my little corner and looked at the order of the children's playing ; first the bigger gal, followed by the young boy, and last my kid..they went up the little stairs but.....as they were going down the slides i saw the bigger gal raised her hand and showed "STOPPED" gesture to my kid with a fierce face. Of course my kid got little scared. she retreated. I still didn't interfere. then after the two kids went down, i called on my daughter and asked her that it is ok to slide down and she complied. then this bigger gal continued that stopped gesture again to my daughter the second time, again and again not letting her play together with them and scaring her with that.
after a few times I could not stand the sight and I called for my daughter to stopped playing and come with me - she finally gave in of course with a pouting lips and sulking face. hub came and held her to our table which was directly in front of the playground's entrance. My daughter couldn't understand why she can't play, so i explained that it's time to eat and just as i was eating moments later i saw the bigger gal also stopped playing and went out to her mom. BUT WHAT MAKES ME FEEL ANNOYED is that the two kids weren't siblings afterall. In fact the little boy's dad was sitting beside us and the bigger gal's parents was outside in the open eating area.
Seeing that I made a conclusion that put a label to the situation.
A) That bigger gal was a tiny miss racist, when she saw us - the "M" - came in "intruding" her "space" and "sharing" that playground she went frantic, even called the mother tapping the glass. then miss senior racist came in gave me a look as if i was troubling her child, talked in words i couldn't understand and leave the place with her kid who was then after kept showing STOPPED signs to my daughter each time my daughter wants to tail them up and down the slides, she stopped my daughter looked at my little girl's face as if warning her not to come too closely.
B) now i probably won't over-judge this if only that little boy was in fact turned to be her brother. BUT the boy WASN'T. the boy was a stranger just like my daughter was to miss tiny racist, BUT SHE DIDN'T STOPPED HIM PLAYING CLOSELY WITH HER, instead was 'protecting' her fellow race blood to play safely, so protective that i initially thought the boy was her brother.
ALAS, am nauseated with the incidents. NOW tell me if my girl was fair skin, small eyes, straight hair and speaks mandarin, I AM SURE THAT BIGGER GAL WOULD HAVE 'PROTECTED' MY DAUGHTER TOO and played with her happily and not 'spooked' by the fact that my daughter is 'M' race.
OF course i am not saying that it's the girl's fault to have that mindset, poor her -it comes from the parents - the miss senior racist was already instilling seeds of hatred to her offsprings, and her 'racist parenting' showed evidence at such tender age on a place so public and innocent as a playground!!! and our leaders are saying let's put race behind, the Malays especially have them as brothers and sisters of equally rights without prejudice ...when they can't even tolerate a Malay little girl playing along, can we expect should their 'kind' holds much bigger power they'll treat us equally??? NO WAY!
Racism doesn't need words, the actions, the body-language that uneasiness when aother race is within close proximity with you, you start seeing color, you talk in words the others don't understand (ok so u can say ur BM is horrible, but am sure you can speak ENG) the simple words "it's ok, play along kids" would have been fine.
SURE there were other 360 degree of non-racist encounters i've had at various other playground. The parents were fine, we let our kids play together, when the kids 'fight' we speak in language all of us can understand - we didn't see colors, we see kids playing and wanting to have fun. it is a sad thing that there's still these kinds of morons around us. I am worried with my kid's future.
in the meantime, take some racism test...http://youtu.be/Cebo_kI_BOo
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Kullun Nafsin Za Ikatul Maut
A sad day.
I lost a dear friend, ,a classmate...even sadder I only know about this devastating news after 2 weeks of her death.
Al-Fatihah to *Siti Dalilah Ramli (1973-2011). She was an ex-Astro, ex-NTV7 staff and my ex-MSDS UM classmate of 2010/2011.
She was a private person, very lone ranger type - rarely mingles but had one big heart. She was ever helpful. Thing was, prior upon knowing this news (or rather outdated news) I kept thinking about her, the thought of calling her, checking on her was so strong i woke up several times in the past few weeks to the thoughts of her - i was meaning to call her so bad, but i never did. and now how i regretted not doing that.
It is said she died of cancer, but of what kind - we were never told. I tried calling her cell, but it is already disconnected. None of us (the classmates) knew about her death, and apparently only one guy who had smsed her earlier this semester (around july) told me that the last time he chatted with Dalilah via sms, she told him she was sick, she was really really sick and couldn't answer any calls. But El (the guy who chatted with her) never said anything...not until today.
I personally am devastated. Even though i knew her way before we were classmates (when working in the field, she was a reporter too)i was never close with her and rarely talk with her until we were in our second semester, i've got preetty close with her. We studied together, we exchanged notes, we went to library, but most importantly in what seems to be one of her last few months - she has helped me A LOT on my thesis proposal.
For someone whom i never really was close with - i was really moved when she offered to help me with my studies...there i was struggling about my studies, and she came to the rescue, of all people i knew ...and yes, she really helped me. went through the troubles of going to the library during our semester break to see me, to discussed with me, to brainstormed with me about my work! she didn't have to do that, but she did. and she did wholeheartedly. I was overwhelmed, i was really grateful for that and vowed to her if she needed anything for her work - i'll be there to help.
But, I'll never get that privilege. For now she is gone, too soon...from us. She was kind...really kind.
Seriously without her pushing me for that proposal, i would had never finished it, would never had the idea to do what i am doing right now - coming from the same 'field of work' before - we exchanged ideas easily about what we aimed to do that was in relation to our working experiences. She and I even spoke several times about getting back to the field but as freelancer, and she was ever helpful to let me know if there is any opening anywhere and so was i - but that never took place.
In addition, what is even weirder - this is my third time having 'lost' a friend that i've been thinking about so strongly before finding out their death - the first was, Allahyarham Eddy Adika (i wrote about him before) and then there was Allahyarhamah Nor or Kak Nor of TV3 News whom was so dear to me as i was always chatting with her every time i made the visit to the 'injest' room at tv3 news - so much so, she was kind enough to buy me my favorite Muar coffee every time she comes back from her hometown. All of them died of cancer, yet Dalilah's death was the most shocking one - cause she never showed any symptom. She was as healthy as we know her to be since day one - yes, she talks very slowly but that's just because she was one of those soft-spoken kind. There was nothing unusual about her..at least to our naked eyes.
But now that this happened, I could not helped but to reminisced the times she and I were studying together and that was in end of May/early June-i remembered we were crazily thinking about the titles of what my thesis going to be...from the 'normal' one to the 'ambitious' one - and I said to her how much i really appreciate her helping me, truly am thankful and said i would do everything i could to return the favor once she needed that help with thesis, she said "Oh, I don't know Aishah, maybe I won't be able to do it" i mean it struck me as odd, but i never knew what she meant really so i asked her why and she said because she was old. Looking back, who knew maybe she was already falling ill and i was the foolish one to have not seen that coming. That was in May/June and from El's account he smsed Dalilah in July (im guessing) because that was the start of the new semester when Dalilah was supposed to registered for her other 2 subjects. So in between that, it was pretty quick, how her health deteriorated just like that...she must have been having stage four cancer or some really serious cancer because when i saw her she was just fine - and then................
Oh, Dalilah. May you rest in peace, May ALLAH bless your soul, and you be in the everlasting Jannah - happy and free from all diseases - you were a good friend, was really good friend and i am forever indebted to you for helping me out with my proposal, with my studies - forgive me for not being a good friend for i never called you to check on you although every muscles in me ached to do so - but never did, and now it is too late. Al-Fatihah Siti Dalilah Ramli :'(
*correction: I had mistakenly wrote her name as Dalilah Abdul Ghani (according to my hub that is), turned out that was wrong. Am sorry. More about Dalilah in the following links:
Media run Sydney
Help for cancer
PS: thank you to one of the visitor here, she was the one who had pointed out the links.
I lost a dear friend, ,a classmate...even sadder I only know about this devastating news after 2 weeks of her death.
Al-Fatihah to *Siti Dalilah Ramli (1973-2011). She was an ex-Astro, ex-NTV7 staff and my ex-MSDS UM classmate of 2010/2011.
She was a private person, very lone ranger type - rarely mingles but had one big heart. She was ever helpful. Thing was, prior upon knowing this news (or rather outdated news) I kept thinking about her, the thought of calling her, checking on her was so strong i woke up several times in the past few weeks to the thoughts of her - i was meaning to call her so bad, but i never did. and now how i regretted not doing that.
It is said she died of cancer, but of what kind - we were never told. I tried calling her cell, but it is already disconnected. None of us (the classmates) knew about her death, and apparently only one guy who had smsed her earlier this semester (around july) told me that the last time he chatted with Dalilah via sms, she told him she was sick, she was really really sick and couldn't answer any calls. But El (the guy who chatted with her) never said anything...not until today.
I personally am devastated. Even though i knew her way before we were classmates (when working in the field, she was a reporter too)i was never close with her and rarely talk with her until we were in our second semester, i've got preetty close with her. We studied together, we exchanged notes, we went to library, but most importantly in what seems to be one of her last few months - she has helped me A LOT on my thesis proposal.
For someone whom i never really was close with - i was really moved when she offered to help me with my studies...there i was struggling about my studies, and she came to the rescue, of all people i knew ...and yes, she really helped me. went through the troubles of going to the library during our semester break to see me, to discussed with me, to brainstormed with me about my work! she didn't have to do that, but she did. and she did wholeheartedly. I was overwhelmed, i was really grateful for that and vowed to her if she needed anything for her work - i'll be there to help.
But, I'll never get that privilege. For now she is gone, too soon...from us. She was kind...really kind.
Seriously without her pushing me for that proposal, i would had never finished it, would never had the idea to do what i am doing right now - coming from the same 'field of work' before - we exchanged ideas easily about what we aimed to do that was in relation to our working experiences. She and I even spoke several times about getting back to the field but as freelancer, and she was ever helpful to let me know if there is any opening anywhere and so was i - but that never took place.
In addition, what is even weirder - this is my third time having 'lost' a friend that i've been thinking about so strongly before finding out their death - the first was, Allahyarham Eddy Adika (i wrote about him before) and then there was Allahyarhamah Nor or Kak Nor of TV3 News whom was so dear to me as i was always chatting with her every time i made the visit to the 'injest' room at tv3 news - so much so, she was kind enough to buy me my favorite Muar coffee every time she comes back from her hometown. All of them died of cancer, yet Dalilah's death was the most shocking one - cause she never showed any symptom. She was as healthy as we know her to be since day one - yes, she talks very slowly but that's just because she was one of those soft-spoken kind. There was nothing unusual about her..at least to our naked eyes.
But now that this happened, I could not helped but to reminisced the times she and I were studying together and that was in end of May/early June-i remembered we were crazily thinking about the titles of what my thesis going to be...from the 'normal' one to the 'ambitious' one - and I said to her how much i really appreciate her helping me, truly am thankful and said i would do everything i could to return the favor once she needed that help with thesis, she said "Oh, I don't know Aishah, maybe I won't be able to do it" i mean it struck me as odd, but i never knew what she meant really so i asked her why and she said because she was old. Looking back, who knew maybe she was already falling ill and i was the foolish one to have not seen that coming. That was in May/June and from El's account he smsed Dalilah in July (im guessing) because that was the start of the new semester when Dalilah was supposed to registered for her other 2 subjects. So in between that, it was pretty quick, how her health deteriorated just like that...she must have been having stage four cancer or some really serious cancer because when i saw her she was just fine - and then................
Oh, Dalilah. May you rest in peace, May ALLAH bless your soul, and you be in the everlasting Jannah - happy and free from all diseases - you were a good friend, was really good friend and i am forever indebted to you for helping me out with my proposal, with my studies - forgive me for not being a good friend for i never called you to check on you although every muscles in me ached to do so - but never did, and now it is too late. Al-Fatihah Siti Dalilah Ramli :'(
*correction: I had mistakenly wrote her name as Dalilah Abdul Ghani (according to my hub that is), turned out that was wrong. Am sorry. More about Dalilah in the following links:
Media run Sydney
Help for cancer
PS: thank you to one of the visitor here, she was the one who had pointed out the links.
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