where I stripped naked - in words without cloak of anonymity nor cobwebs of ignorance and hope to be a bona fide optimist.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
To continue or Not To Continue? But one thing for sure, PPSMI continues to be politicalized
Saturday, January 10, 2009
From KL-Guatemala: The world condemn Israelis!

Now, what disgust me the most, in sheer desperation, some marched in peacefull congregation to voice out their disappointments simply because of the complete political failure of world leaders; especially the diysfunctional UN and the chicken-shit Arab League Leaders. The laknatullah Israelis clearly violates humantarian law by continuing air and ground attacks when they were clearly warned not to. All for absurdity: eliminating Hamas militants!
BUT here's a fact: UN on 9th of January released a therall investigation of the bombardment on Al-Jabaliya UN school which took the lives of more than 100 civillians including UN staff. There were no Hamas militant killed or involved during the bombardment either by taking shelter in the school compound or masquerading as civilian. So why, did you ISRAEL have to bomb that school? what possible inhuman act can kids and women who were taking shelter in the school play in this one-sided war??
So what is left with us then? what choice do we have to help the Palestinian people? Will you be willing to take up a gun, a snipper and go to war in the name of jihad? will you leave your worldly belongings, family and loved ones to have a fighting role in the war? I'm pretty sure most will say NO! i know i will have to say no..i'm just not capable and brave enough for jihad. at least I'm honest to admit this. And so, what else can we, Malaysians, Indonesians (just to name a few) do to help?
Boycotting US & Israelis goods??? perhaps..BUT let's be realistic; how many of y'll out there really can leave without your beloved LEVI'S, your DIET COKE, that yummy McDONALD burger,that wonderful STARBUCKS moccha...and the list continues for Big boycott campaign click here
BUT having said that i applaud at those who really can pull it off. My deep respect for those who goes for jihad in the name of freeing the Palestinian people. BUT most, i say MOST, just jumps in the bandwagon not knowing for real what the real deal is. I say this with disgust at those who marched and yell the anti-zionis slogan on the streets BUT still wears LEVI'S, still eat and sleeps McDONALD & BURGER KING! talk about walk the walk and talk the talk people. and everyday of the occupation goes by, you see more and more people sending in press invitations, sucking all the attention needed, wrapping themselves with Palestinian scarfs and trotting with hate banners and placard of BUSH...and for what really? just for a cheap publicity that says, "hey,look at me y'll i support the palestinian and i'm here for a show, do vote for me in the upcoming kampung election, committee ABC election yada yada yada..."this what irks me most!
the best way i think, is to keep praying to Allah, sedekah your Al-Fatihah that our brothers and sisters will be freed from the atrocities they're facing now. AMIN! to the rest, stop being TOO DAMN EMOTIONAL and starts being REALISTIC. and this goes to the leaders as well. you want to help? donate to PALESTINIAN RELIEF FUND! you want to help? let's all be united, all the ARAB WORLD and BOMB TEL AVIV!! now that's WAR!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Of 1430 hijri and 2009
1. It's officially a new year today. and in exactly 2 months and 9 days from now i'll be 27 years old and soon to be a mother! yes, that's the update i've been procrastinating to write about. You see all of my previous posts i raved about the protruding tummy i thought i garnered out of eating excessively..BUT instead it turned out to be a featus that's soon gonna pooped out from my belly in due time insyaAllah somewhere in june.
2. Now that i'm pregnant, i have a newfound respect for all mothers. including my own. i mean, i'm only 4 months preggy but already i feel terrible and horribly burden by it. not to mentioned the fear of bearing future responsibility of being a mom and yes, enduring horrific labor pain. having said that, i must count my blessings. I do not have any morning sickness right from the start till now. and hopefully never.
3. Of which is the reason why i only discovered i was pregnant after 2.5 months! because i wasn't feeling any headaches, nausea, morning sickness etc. i was pretty active basically throughout the first trimester of pregnancy. the only indications then, was my bulging belly and excessive craving for foods and napping!
4. the following fact may sound cruel. BUT i wasn't thrilled to know i was impregnated! as i religiously wrote before, i'm yet to achieve my dream, there's so many things i want to do and accomplish, one of them is definitely furthering my studies in MA and if possible PhD. getting that dream job, doing things i love most (can't reveal my wishlist here can i? it probably won't come true)
5. as such being preggy i find would only steer me away from my dreams and goals in life. the thought of having a baby before all of that, before reaching 30 was not acceptable. i actually cried my eyeballs out upon finding out the news (litterally seconds after taking the pregnancy test)
6. BUT things changed a bit and i'm grateful for it. it changed right about when i first heard my baby's heartbeat and saw the baby's image on ultrasound scanning machine. it was unbelievable. i feel sorry for my baby for not wanting him/her at first but now seeing this another soul living and enlarging in me, i'm utterly grateful for the gift from Allah. my maternal instinct starts to kick in and vow not to miss taking the awful taste of folic acid pill and other vitamins.
7. being pregnant also means that i have to kick out my favourite drink in the whole wide world: caffein! namely coffee, teh tarik, coke.
8. being pregnant i have to ditched all my heeled shoes and resort to comfy n flat ones.
9. being pregnant, i have the delights of being pampered by my beloved hubby. TQ redz1luv.
10. BUT the ultimate downside of it: I AM SO GETTING FAT AND FATTER AND FATTEST. though it's only 4 months, i can no longer fit into my favourite pants, jeans and shirts. have to resort to sweat pants oversize tops (you know not that i'm ever a fashion conscious kinda person, but the only fret i have with it, is that i need to buy new clothes!) not forgetting new lingerie lineups as well. will be bloated up soon!
11. and yes, after almost a year moving in to my hubby's house aka our house; i finally got my hands on a new reliable internet modem, that's definitely better than the previous one i had to use. as a matter of fact i'm quite surprise of the speediness it has to offer here in my housing area since it's quite remote or the way my mom would call it " tempat jin bertendang" and yes, i'm promoting that service particularly: it's called maxis broadband! it's super fast, better than streamyx (believe me i was a loyal user of tm of 6 years) way cooler than Digi and cheaper than Celcom. so folks if u haven't got any or scouting for an internet service maxis is your answer. (datuk ananda krishnan ought to pay some for promoting his stuff)
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Finding that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow
Too many things have happpened in the last few weeks especially in the politics world be it in Malaysia or America. And I reckon many more exciting things will take place in due time. I've always wanted to share my thoughts but never did manage to do so because the internet connection that hubby's subscribing is little less than horrible.
ANYWAYS, some of the interesting thing or at least i'd like to think it's interesting is my current determination and hubby's fuzz for exercising. I actually bought a balacing ball (spikey one) or some called it a gym ball and a matching yoga mat with a DVD on workout and trimming abs (as if) While hubby forced me to bring back from mom's two pairs of badminton racket. Now usually i wouldn't care much but i just need to at least try to lose weight now since the protruding tummy seem to be enlarging.
anyways, it takes alot of energy to inflate the gym ball and after all the hard work i force my hubby to do, i rarely use it. and now it sits fashionably on our coffee table. so much for shredding those pounds off huh?
other news: i'm still very determine to move out from kyonoterebi. so much so, i'm on a constant look out for shigoto no interviews and even jobs ads. as much as i love doing what i'm doing right now (and i believe i'm very good at my current job, my past record provetdthat) the place literally is 'burning me out'. every single aspect of it; the environment, the job task.
when i first started out the job, u know i was like any other fresh grads eager to prove i'm worth the employment. but unlike other fresh grads, i wasn't just eager and determined i really got what it takes for the challenge. i know, i may sound bragging but it's just the fact. whether i was excellent of doing so,is another issue and not for me to judge. but i was good enough i'm pretty darn sure of that.
as a fresh grads with first real job, i had to endured some scuffs. sure, everybody have a sad story to share. but i took mine, open heartedly.as cold and unfair as it seems to me back then, i worked my way through it. and in less than a year, i made it from lc to a better one. and good things lead to another, i was the brightest stars amongst all, so bright i rose and being made as P. and things got ugly soon afterthat.
anyways, the point i'm getting to, as much as i fret about the past i believe every single thing happened for a reason. and Allah knows what's best for us. and in my case, if i wasn't P anymore, i can never be anything else. I sure as hell can't be a R. so what i can be then? forever stuck as what i am today with no real career advancement in sight.
well that thought alone discourage my burning flame of working dilligently as i had when i first started out last 2 years...to a none-existance flame state.
now i work for money and every morning i dreaded of going to work, but whenever i feel that way, i think of my parents and that literally does it. that thought alone can drag my arse to office.
i'm no ungrateful person. i'm grateful with every positivity and negativity aspects of my current career. it's just that, i don't think it's a crime to think and dream a better life (career) other than your current one. and that is exactly what i'm fretting about. i want more.
amidst the economic downturn, i'm fully aware it's quite difficult to find another oppurtunity. but around this time of writing, i found one. nothing grandeur, but in many ways better than what i'm having right now.
now, the rest i leave to Allah. if this one gets away, there's always another door opening for me, insyaAllah. wish me luck.